I’m a bitch. I admit it proudly… Bitch, as in a woman who has her shit together. I’m strong, ambitious and beautiful. I know what I want and I am ready to find it. I’m not some meek, “I need a man to take care of me” kinda girl.
Well, here’s the thing. I don’t know what it is but I am at times exceedingly patient and forgiving when it comes to men. I think I can sometimes seem so nice that I’m vanilla. Plus, I don’t like it. I don’t feel relaxed and comfortable. I just feel sort of intimidated. That SUX. I don’t know why I act that way (ok, well I have some idea but we aren’t going to get in to my childhood traumas here). It seems to happen most often with men who have a strong almost aggressive personality. In no other section of my life do I act like this. It’s funny, I sort of hate me when I can see myself doing it.
So the other day Mr. Hard Body and I were chatting. Actually, we were watching another movie together and cuddling up on the couch while he did NOT make any moves or even try to kiss me (at this point that is what I expect from him anyway) when he mentioned a book called “Why Men Marry Bitches”. (He has also made little jokes about this topic, ya know me being so damn agreeable… say… FINALLY I got you to fight with me… we weren’t really fighting tho. lol) Officially the book is ”Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman’s Guide to Winning Her Man’s Heart” by Sherry Argov.
If you know me, then you know I find this an IRRESISTABLE topic. It’s about relationships and strong women and what behavior men react to and why.
I looked the book up online, and checked out some excerpts and it looks fantastic. It said things like, in order for a man to fall in love with a woman he has to respect her and men respect women who are strong and stand up for themselves. It also said that men are fascinated by things they don’t completely control.
That makes all the sense in the world to me, so I decided I was going to practice this theory this weekend with The Ramblin’ Man. Maybe keep his attention. The great thing is– all I have to do is be myself! I GET to be myself is more like it. I find it odd that I have to like REMIND myself to do this. (insert -eye roll- from being annoyed at myself)
So I decided to be the sassy bitch that I am… be honest and say what I think. Period. End of story….
It went really well actually, and I really needed to adopt this kind of attitude because The Ramblin’ Man is one tough sum bitch… I needed my strength to keep up and not be rubbed the wrong way by his sometimes brash remarks. (It feels so odd to say that– I’m sure he’d be a little bewildered. I know he was in no way trying to be offensive.. but every once in a while there’s a remark that just kinda stings…….)
So, with my current logical, slightly bitchy attitude… I’ll give you an example of one of our conversations. We were at a winery and one of the gals that works there was being flirtatious with The Ramblin’ Man. Nothing too overt and I suppose we weren’t exactly giving off the “we’re together” vibe. So, he was teasing me about being jelous, and I kept telling him I’m not jelous. Finally I explained. “Hey, ya know, I want to be with someone who thinks I’m beautiful and amazing, so if you want to chase wine girl… go ahead.”
This statement then got him saying “I think you are beautiful and amazing.”
Then he laughingly said “oh ya, guys like you are a dime a dozen.” I replied that is certainly NOT true. I mean, it’s been a year since I’ve been in a relationship. I’ve been on so many freakin first dates and stuff… It’s been SO difficult to find someone that I’d like to see more than a couple times. He’s DEFINATELY not a dime a dozen, and I let him know that. I think he’s an incredible man. Really, a shining star and I hope we’ll always remain friends whatever happens.
I did find that I was looking away as I was saying it. We were riding in his truck and I was looking out the window. I think he was looking my way. He said how incredibly sweet it was what I was saying… but still I was looking away. It was kind of an awkward moment.
So, I think it was a win. It got his attention, and made for some intruiging conversation. In the end, I got a glimpse of what he was thinking and vice versa. I think it was a win. I plan to keep it up… and hopefully it doesn’t backfire on me.