Just Wait…

While I have no intention of turning this in to a churchy religious blog, THIS is my journey and I’m going to share it… every part of it.  As I have been one to run from spiritual matters in the past, I hope you’ll continue to follow along with me…

I have learned many things on the crazy twisty turny roads through this life.  I have learned patience, perseverance, hanging on, fighting hard, and how to love…  Hell, I’m still learning and I will keep doing so but right now my lesson is learning to wait on the Lord.

It was a line in a song at church yesterday.  “Teach me to wait on the Lord.”

This is incredibly difficult for me, as I am such an action oriented person, I am constantly asking “What can I DO?”  Right now, my answer is to do nothing… just wait on the Lord.

I am waiting to hear what he wants me to do.  I am waiting for that extraordinary love I’ve been praying for.  I’m waiting for my own personal growth work to take hold so my heart, soul and body can catch up with my mind.

I have started chasing after Him… pursuing God.  Again I’m in a period of walking with him everyday…  For some reason, this tends to fall by the wayside when I get sidetracked by life, but I keep coming back around.  I am hoping the times of getting sidetracked grow shorter and shorter until there’s no space in between, and I am praying without ceasing.

So, here I am– poised and ready to do whatever it is God tells me to do.  I’m seeking Him out in the waiting.  I’ve still got that peace in my heart, and I KNOW all the waiting will be worth it.


Published in: on June 19, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (7)  
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Inner Peace Today

I am having such a sense of peace today.  It’s like a cool breeze from the inside out.  I want this feeling at my core EVERY DAY for the rest of my life.  It’s such CALM.

The day didn’t start out that way.  I was really struggling this morning.  Now, although I am still having some of those feelings, it’s like my core is calm– instead of an anxiety riddled wreck as usual.

This morning was a special day for our family, and the kids were being incredibly sweet to me.  The focus was all on me, but my heart was breaking for missing The Ambassador… for wishing he was in church with me, for wishing he would come to his senses.

At one point, I asked myself…  Why am I missing him so much on this particular day?  This day has nothing to do with him.  My answer to myself was… with everyone trying to do nice things for me… HE was my gift, my delight, my laughter, my heart, my sunshine.  It was one of those days where everyone you know could do something nice for you, but all you want is that someone standing by your side.

The sermon was incredibly good today… Wow, I mean our Pastor is ON FIRE.  He’s really on fire for the Lord and must be feeling so connected to be preaching like that.

It was basically, if you want your life to have an impact– to be a blessing to others, and have incredible meaning…  Run to the Lord.  Pursue Him!  Be hungry for Him…  He’s the living water, and it will -never- run out.  The relationship with Jesus, and your pursuit of Him is something that will always be there and something you can grow in.

I absorbed it…  I took it to heart.  I’m there.  I need God in my life, because folks, I’ve tried.  I’ve tried running my own life, especially my love life, and screwing it up.  I have tried giving myself peace, and I can’t.  I just can’t.  I need Christ.

At one point the Pastor encouraged us to track the chapter 3 verse 16s throughout the bible.  I thought that an interesting task, and was pleased with that little adventure as I read through the 3:16s of the New Testament.  For the remainder of the day I read scripture selections in “God’s Promises for You” by Max Lucado.

I don’t know if it was being fed by so much scripture that lead to this peace in my heart, or if it’s from working through the anxieties I’ve had as of late….  probably some of both, but ALL of it, I’m sure, is because I turned to the Lord to lead me.

Published in: on June 17, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (2)  
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