The Par-tay

So, several weeks ago The Ambassador popped out with “We should have a dinner party!”

I leaned back in my chair. I don’t need that extra expense of feeding like 10 people. Plus the hassle of worrying about how my house looks and who will come, etc. etc. PLUS, that’s a couple thing.

He offered to do all the cooking, and cleaning to prepare. Well, I took a deep breath and said yes.

He did not help with the cleaning as promised but he did buy ALL the food. He ran all over the place, even driving over an hour to pick up organic beef for the gourmet burgers.

The Ambassador came by early to prep and we got a little time to chat before the party. It was very plain to me how nervous he was but he reassured me the cooking would calm him.

He had bought a new shirt, stripey and plaid. He’s got this fantastic modern earthy style sometimes that includes baggy pants that sit low on his hips. Everytime I see him wearing this style, it makes me hold my breath. It’s the way he looked the first time I saw him.

He’s also got this country side to him, and suits up in wranglers and boots… That was the look he sported that night. His new shirt caressing his shoulders and making them look oh so broad.

I prepared to go pick my kids up from school and was thinking I was determined NOT to go in to this party UNkissed. I buttoned my coat and said I was going, then stopped and turned around. I marched right back and simply said “There’s one more thing I want before I go.”

He turned to me and we shared a first kiss standing in my kitchen with his hands full of beef. It was sweet and sort of a smatter of small kisses. Just what I would have expected. I smiled and turned away to continue my tasks for the day.

We had planned this a couple weeks before. He invited his one best friend who wouldn’t give him a straight answer as to whether or not he was coming… He did attend, with girlfriend in tow. He also invited his one friend from work who decided she would rather just stay at home on her day off.

I invited my three Dazzling Divorcees and Captain Amazing. They all came.

It turned out, that was going a little overboard. It was A LOT of peole. Didn’t seem like all that many but when you count kids and dates… It was a ton.

The party went off just fine. Everyone loved The Ambassador’s gourmet burgers… even the kids, which shocked the hell out of me. Kids usually aren’t crazy about stuff they have not tried before, but they gobbled it down. The guests had great conversation and it was really fun putting faces to names.

Now, half way through the dinner… I heard the other kids looking for my son. I got curious and got up from the table to look. I couldn’t find him either and my anxiety started to grow. I checked all the places inside the house then through my coat on to go check the garage.

On my way out the door I turned and saw him sitting on the floor, head in a basket full of clean laundry crying. I sat with him and talked to him. He was feeling left out by the other kids. Honestly, it was SO many people– it was probably overwhelming for him. It was for me. By that time my anxiety had shot up.
I was pretty much MIA for the rest of the party. My stomach was upset so I bounced between the bathroom and my son’s room comforting him and being a horrible hostess.

When things calmed and I realized what The Ambassador and The Sultry School Teacher had done, my heart swelled and I wondered just how much joy one heart could hold. They took care of everything. The Ambassador kept things going, playing host while I was gone, and comforting me when I popped up.

The two of them cleaned up all the food and all the dishes. The Sultry School Teacher, even took the dishes to her place next door to run them through the dish washer so I didn’t have to wash them by hand.

Later, talking to The Ambassador, he complimented her with vigor. “She’s such a good friend to you…” and on and on he went. Despite my absence, the party went off without a hitch.

My friends and his friends intermingled seemlessly… but what I really took away from the party was that I have been supremely overwhelmingly blessed with a guy and a girl of stellar charachter who care for me enough to be my stand ins even when I’m too stubborn to admit I need one.

Published in: on January 9, 2012 at 9:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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I’m a Sexy Bratz Doll

Friday came along and I was getting ramped up to go out with The Sultry School Teacher. I tried to get a fix on what she’d be wearing but she simply teased and joked and never answered the damn question– So, I decided I was going to put on my sexy boots with a pleated skirt and maaaad accessories. I thought I’d give The Ambassador a chance to see a bit of my sexy side. Give him something to want.

The Ambassador’s buddy is the DJ at The Pub downtown, so he was going to come along.

I got all primed with my at home Bahama Momma. Got all spiced up with my sexy boots and lace top thigh highs. I was rarin’ to go!

I honestly didn’t know what to expect as The Ambassador had kept up with his couple speak… saying things like “I might have some good news. I put the Jeep up for sale or trade. This guy wants to trade it for a Chevy Blazer… so we’d have room for everyone.”

And when I told him I wouldn’t be drinking because it was too cold to walk and my son was at a sleepover and may need to get picked up later. He protested saying “I could be that for you.. Ride and potential child rescuer if he needs to be picked up.”

I though… “Ok, if he wants to help, I should let him” and out came the rum.

I had just about half a drink. Just enough to feel relaxed. The Sultry School Teacher came by and we walked down to The Ambassador’s place around the corner.

I called The Ambassador to let him know we were on our way and The School Teacher and I cracked up listening to his incredibly long Stallone impression on his answering machine.

When we got there, he opened the door and took my purse for me as I was trying to get through the door. I think he was grabbing it like he would grab a guests coat, lol, but it was a little awkward and his eyes were all buldgy at the site of me. I was lookin’ hott people… sizzlin’ in my boots!

We chilled out for a while and I read The Sultry School Teacher’s tarot. At some point I got up to grab my bag and The Ambassador blurted “You look so good… You look like a Bratz Doll! Do you remember all the controversy around those dolls? People sayin’ ‘that doll’s too sexy!'”

There were a few leg crosses and I know he got a peek at the lace underneath before we headed out to the Pub. As we headed out the door I realized he’d snuck out at some point and started warming up his truck. That was incredibly sweet. We piled on to the bench seat with me in the middle, and everyone wiggling around buckling. I rested my hand on his leg and he promptly scooped it up and interlaced his fingers with mine. I felt giddy.

We climbed out of the truck a minute or two later and headed in to the bar arm in arm. I had a fab time watching The Ambassador clown with his friends.

The School Teacher and I sat at the bar trying to get the bar keep’s attention. Poor stupid girl. She was hot but she was a horrrible bartender. She was wandering aimlessly behind the bar lost in her own thoughts so we couldn’t get her attention. We also had to whip out a smart phone and google how to make our drinks because she said she couldn’t remember. Then, when I asked for the billiard balls to play pool, I had to repeat “play pool!” twice because I swear she didn’t know what “billiard” meant.

We climbed the stairs to the pool tables, and The Ambassador followed few minutes later. I was like a magnet that night… I was definitely turning heads and The Ambassador couldn’t take his eyes off me.

I click clacked back down the stairs at one point to get a refill when I heard some jackhole on a bar stool hassling the DJ (who is The Ambassador’s BFF, The Goofy Musician). He just sat on his bar stool yelling “Hey Faggot, I haven’t heard my requested song yet! Hey FAG – did you hear me?! ” Basically he said those two lines over and over again while The Horrible Bartended giggled and encouraged him. The Goofy Musician simple continued whatever conversation he was having. I don’t think he could hear said jackhole.

I snatched my drink up off the counter feeling my blood pressure rise at hearing this jerk just repeating himself, insulting my friend and using the word “faggot” to do it. I marched up the stairs and could still hear the jack hole on the bar stool.

I told The Ambassador what was happening but barely got the words out and realized I could still hear that jackhole all the way up stairs. I stomped half way down the stairs, leaned over the banister and screamed “Hey asshole! If you talked to me like that, I wouldn’t hear you either!”

He turned and looked up at me, holding up is hand as if to steady his drunk ass and politely said “I wasn’t talking to you.”

“I KNOW!” I said, and snapped my head around going back up the stairs. The Ambassador called The Goofy Musician, who was fine and completely oblivious to the drama just 15 ft away. No back up required.

A couple of minutes later the jackhole humbly shouted apologies in the form of “I meant no disrespect” up the stairwell.

Right after that The Sultry School Teacher had decided she was done hanging around this lame-o empty bar and was going to walk home. I’m sorry, but it seems like walking home in the dark and cold from a bar is never a good idea… even in our tiny town. Plus, we had come together so I was determined that we would drive her home.

Turned out she was leaving partly to give The Ambassador and I some alone time. She said it seemed like he was trying SO hard. She got the impression that he has probably not had many, or maybe never had a positive relationship and he was second guessing every step not wanting to screw things up. She said also he’s cute and SUPER nice.

We later discussed his out-of-order behavior. It was her impression that he had leap frogged over some stuff… From I don’t know what we are doing— straight in to coupledom, and was still struggling with some of the in between stuff. You see, I think he’s nervous. He knows that when he gets physical he starts feeling really attached so he’s holding back.

We drove her to her place, which is next door to mine and as she climbed out The Ambassador looked over at me and said “You gonna come and hang out? You want to come over?”

“Uhh, yaaaaa” I said.

We headed back over to his cozy apartment and sat on the couch talking… The conversation turned serious about his rough childhood. I was listening intently but also thinking “nooo, don’t turn things serious.. Let’s have fun!”

“Are you going to stay?” he asked.

I quickly replied “Oh, I can’t. The babysitter is there. My daughter is at home.”

We talked. I batted my eyes, laughed and smiled. We cuddled up on the couch some. He sat behind me and dipped his head down resting it on my shoulder. We were both starting to fall asleep and it was getting close to 1am. Pretty late for my babysitter, so he got up to drive me home. Still UNkissed I thought maybe I would get a smooch good night.

He pulled in my drive and got out of the truck to walk me to the door. I fidgeted and got myself a slightly awkward hug… then off he went.

Well, I thought, I guess I just get the hand hold tonight, and I was ok with that. I was feeling pretty confident anyway… after all, I’m a sexy Bratz doll! 😛

Yippie-ki-yay, motherf@#ker!


Published in: on January 4, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (4)  
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