Walk The Walk

I was out walking with The Ambassador the other day…  The experience was just like many others we have had.  He invited me, and then when I got to his apartment, he had forgotten.  That kind of bullshit frustrates me to no end.  I am a big believer in….  if it’s important to you, you’ll remember.

We talked for a while.  I told him my dog had a seizure the night before, and as he does on the very rare occasion, he shared too.  I finally found out the horrible story of how he’d lost his absolutely most beloved dog.

We sat on the couch and talked…  He reached his foot over and to brush against mine.  I immediately called him out… “What are you doing?  You wanna touch me, don’t you?”  He laughed and confessed.

The Ambassador insisted on jumping in the shower before we got to walking, and he made NO motion to shield himself.   He stripped down in front of me without even blinking.

I watched… of course I watched.  I talked to him through the curtain as he showered.  He even shook his stick at me.  (WHY do men do that??  I guess they know how sexy it is.  —insert sarcastic eye roll here)

As we walked and talked, I continued to make connections between things he was saying and our relationship OR relationships in general.  I guess I was feeling a little obsessive.  He joked at me about it.

I don’t understand this man.  We talked about phallic shapes, and I was further baffled.  I can barely get my hands on the real thing when we were going out, and now he’ll talk about it and point out penis shaped objects all day long.

He continued blabbing out information that began to drive me bonkers.  Things like the fact that he had been haunted by wonderings of whether he would spend his entire life alone… no kids, and NO woman.  I shook my head.  I couldn’t let that one lie…  I just said “You have all of that right in front of you.  You just have to stop pushing it away.”

He talked about the house we had looked at just before the massive relationship decline.  It was a fabulous incredible house, and I had apparently showed a dash too much enthusiasm about it.  My enthusiasm made him light up, and grab all over me the minutes we were alone.  ooooh scary!

Same thought with the house so I didn’t repeat myself.  He could have it, all he had to do was walk down that road.  He has the job, the credit score, and the money.

What it comes down to is we live the lives we have created.  We think about the paths before us.  We choose which path to walk, and the every step or mis-step creates the life you’re living.

We continued on and he mentioned thoughts of grabbing me while I was watching him undress and fucking my brains out.  His actual words were “I wondered if I could have…”

“You could have.” I said.  He looked at me with wide eyes, completely shocked.  Just like everything thing else.  Could have.

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Published in: on March 27, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (26)  
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