Getting Some Answers

docSo I met with the Fantastic Eastern-Western medicine Doc the other day. I was surprised as I stepped in to her office. It was so modest. Just a tiny little two room place with an office, a tiny file room with a receptionist smashed in it, a patient room and a restroom. Nothing fancy about it at all… and buddhist flags strung all around.

She’s definitely my kind of Doctor. I heard her telling the patient before you “When you die, I want you to be happy because you have done ALL the things you wanted to do.” And that’s what it all comes down to, isn’t it?

It was amazing to get some answers. She was so crazy smart she was talking at about 100 miles and hour and although I am pretty sharp, I could barely follow her. What I did pick up, though, was that my issue is most likely a combination of a thyroid condition and imbalance of my female hormones.

Even though we sat in her office during the entire visit, she did the most thorough exam I’ve had since this thing started. In fact, I am sure she is the only Doc that actually felt my thyroid… Which seemed somewhat off to her. Bumpy, I guess. Not a good sign, but I was right about that being an issue.

She also said that my hormones estrogen and progesterone were very low… in fact, what she said as that I had barely any at all. That’s funny… all the other Docs said I was “with in normal range”.

Balance. It sounds fairly simple, but unfortunately, I doubt that will be the case. I have some more tests to do for her but I am optimistic. We are headed in the right direction.

She also noticed my iron level was extremely high. It was supposed to be within a range with like 140 at the highest, and mine was 400!!

The most distressing thing about it was that she was reading blood test that another care provider had run, and NO ONE had ever said anything to me about it. So, now the incredible Doctor is also on a mission to find the cause and resolve the iron issue as well.

*Exhale* I can’t explain the relief I felt talking to a Doctor of the mindset… anxiety is not a diagnosis, and it’s definitely not a natural state for the body to be in. There has got to be a reason.

Published in: on March 8, 2013 at 1:30 am  Leave a Comment  
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Back on Track

cp1_cp2_0115002253I am back at work tonight… FINALLY. I would say I’m thrilled except I’m assigned to graveyard shifts again. ugh… Still, it feels damn good to be able to function better.

Even though my primary care giver has found me no answers yet, she did get me on some meds to help with some of the anxiety and mood swing symptoms. It took several weeks to get here but I am glad to be somewhat productive again.

I love my job, and I am so incredibly blessed to work for an agency that doles out the time off like it’s going out of style. I used up all my sick time and then some but it was still only about a third of the time off I have saved up over the last 2 1/2 years.

If this had happened in my last job managing a Radio Shack, I’d probably be fired, broke and losing my house at this point. SO many things to be thankful for… All the dispatchers on my team have been covering my shifts without one negative word. They are calling to check in on me and hoping I’m getting better. No pressure on me to come back until I was ready and today was the day. **exhale**

Hopefully the level of calm I am experiencing today continues. I am almost half way through my 12 hour shift, it’s about 1am and I am sooo tired but also smiling. I jumped right back in without even forgetting a password.

Published in: on January 31, 2013 at 9:00 am  Comments (9)  
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Super Surprise Phone Call After a Bummer of a Day

phone callIt all started out pretty good. I had an appointment with an incredible Doctor in a town about 35 minutes away. She is a magical diagnostician and certified in internal medicine. I have also heard from many that she is one the very few and elite brand of caregivers who actually cares about you. I was excited to see…

Well, maybe I was more nervous than excited. My son was out of school sick and going to go with me. I took my chill pills plenty of time in advance, and we walked out the door even a little early.

As soon on to the freeway, it all changed. I was so tense you’d have thought I a woman of steel. Every exit we passed, I wanted to get OFF. All I could think about was how I was getting further and further away from home and the longer I drove, the longer it would take to get back home.

My little 8-year-old son was being terrific. He’s such a great kid.
Making conversation, and acting like he didn’t notice that I was completely distracted by my own racing thoughts as my hands gripped the wheel with deadly force.

Eventually, after going as far as I felt I could roll with the tightness in my chest, so I finally exited and started to tell my little man I had to turn around and miss the appointment.

He replied “Oh, don’t turn around Mommy, you made a plan.”

I looked at him and said “You’re right.. I’ll tell you what, there’s another exit up here a ways. We keep going but if I am still feeling this way by the time we get there, I’ll have to turn around.”

He agreed, and off we went, back on to the damn freeway. The anxiety did not subside, and I ended up turning around. So proud of my little boy being so patient, and encouraging with me.

I made only about half way to the town where my appointment was scheduled, but I swear sometimes I have so much damn anxiety it feels like I can’t get enough anti-anxiety meds in to my body to calm the hell down.

I was disappointed and kind of kicking myself… even a little embarrassed but I called the office and told them honestly what had happened. Part of what’s going on with me is that I am having some intense anxiety, and I let them know I could only make it half way and had to turn around.

They were kind and declined to charge me the cancellation fee, even though I offered to gladly pay it. Unfortunately this amazing Doctor is very busy through February and traveling to China to see her parents. I couldn’t get another appointment until March.

I sighed, and said “ok, God, I guess that’s what is supposed to happen.”

Shockingly, about an hour later the Doctor herself called me up. She said she’s concerned about me since she wouldn’t be able to see me for such a long time and I have been having this extreme anxiety.

She asked me a few questions, called the lab where I had recently had work done and got all that information. She wanted to make sure that they were looking for the right things. She is apparently the wizard if lab work. Then she wrote up orders for more blood tests, looking for the right things I guess, and mailed them off to me.

I was so impressed and feelings so blessed. This woman is surely just as amazing as all the other people who’ve recommended her said she was. I’m excited to work with her.

So far, previous blood tests have yielded no answers, and I am fairly certain my primary caregiver was encouraging me to just give up looking… of course thinking it’s “just anxiety”… but I call BS. Something is going on and she’s not looking in the right place yet. She ran a second round of tests, adding things I don’t know why she didn’t just run in the first damn place.

My nurse friend is convinced it’s either thyroid, hormones, or adrenals… easy as that. AND if there is something there.. this new Doc will find it.

These days I’m fairly convinced I have a thyroid condition… specifically over active thyroid, since it’s caused me to lose like 15 lbs in 1 month. That’s put me at a frail 90 lbs. Seriously, I don’t look well. I lost something like 14% of my already slim body weight in one month! It’s a little frightening. Plus, the tachycardia and any number of other symptoms that I won’t bore you with.

All these issues have obviously put a cramp in my dating life. Not that I had much going on in that department lately, anyway. Still, when you get sick like this… to the point where you can’t function in your daily life, like go to work, or pop in to the grocery store with any level of comfort. It shakes up your priorities a bit.

Still, with everything that’s going on… even with my failure to make it to that appointment– Today was a GOOD day!

Thank God for extraordinary people.

Published in: on January 29, 2013 at 9:00 am  Comments (8)  
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