The Collector

Recently had a discussion with Captain Amazing about changing The Ramblin’ Man’s moniker to “The Collector” as he seems to have a lot of ladies in his life… even he admitted he’s livin’ la vida loca.

It’s fine that he isn’t in any place for a committment right now but it seems to be more than that. It’s like he takes whatever is put in front of him, whether he likes her or not. This really surprises me because he seems to have solid boundaries in all the other areas of his life… but not women I guess.

Take The Crazy Wine girl for example. I remember when he first saw her and said she wasn’t that attractive and her teeth are kinda messed up. He’s also told me quite a number of things like that she’ll forget something she said like 2 minutes before, she texts and calls him like crazy, and she’s just generally not a very nice person. Still…. he’s spending time with her.

I’ve also noticed quite a few ladies on his Facebook (Gawwwwd, I hate Facebook sometimes!), including the Virgin who takes Salsa classes with him.

I hate seeing this crap. I try not to think about it, which is uber difficult since The Wine Girl is all over his shit and comments on –every– frickin’ –thing–. Grrrrr!

Captain Amazing’s theory is that he’s a collector… wants everyone to love him. It’s not that he’s sleeping with all these women. I’m sure he’s not but it still makes me gag a little bit.  Every woman wants to feel like the only woman in the world, no matter what the situation.

I was telling Captain Amazing about this situation and telling him that The Ramblin’ Man is a shining star. I hate to let go of him because he’s SO stinkin’ funny, charming and charismatic… but at the same time, I am DEFINATELY not getting enough attention. I do not share well, and I am NOT one of many.

Captain Amazing quickly said “Well don’t get rid of him, but get out of his collection!”

So, I went and had this great adventure… Camping with The Ramblin’ Man and his “bro-mances”. We went on this uber manly hike to the top of a mountain. We drank and laughed and hit the lake. His friends were fantastic and I was a big hit. He brought all the food and camping equipment, even set up this tent he called the Taj Mahal since it was huge. He was sweet and complimentary and even a tiny bit jealous. He even whipped out some PDA in front of his friends, which really surprised me. I enjoyed him…

But now we are home and I feel like I have to chase him to get any attention and I HATE that feeling. I’m NOT going to do it. Apparently with The Ramblin’ Man it’s out of sight out of mind. Although, I have to give him credit, if I contact him he will reply every time and usually fairly quickly.

Part of me feels like… nah, forget it. I don’t want to be part of the collection, OR be the girl that’s out of sight out of mind. Then I think about some of the things he said and how sweet he was this weekend and I soften.

Why do I even think about it? Why do I even let him be more than a blip on my radar? It’s not that we have amazing sex. I mean, I haven’t seen him enough to get more comfortable and really find a rhythm (for lack of a better word). I guess I just like him. I like his personality and want him to want me. Ugh. That feeling sucks.

I can’t decide if I should say something to him, or just let it lie. He’s apparently been Mr. Popularity lately, so he’s busy, but at the same time busy is bullshit. You make time for people who are on your mind. It’s not a chore either, it’s a treat. We have no future plans to see each other, so we shall see. I need to stop lookin’ at his frickin’ Facebook. ha! Good luck with that! I think from now on though, I may just call him “The Collector”.

Published in: on September 20, 2011 at 9:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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Dear Readers, adding Sunday

The writing has just been pouring out of me lately, and I am a good three weeks ahead for publishing dates, so I’m adding a Sunday.  enjoy!

Published in: on September 6, 2011 at 8:11 am  Leave a Comment  
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Just How Superficial are They?

Yesterday I bought a bikini. This might not sound like a momentous occasion to most of you but I am 34 years old with two kids and haven’t worn a little bikini in about 10 years.

You see, I never want to be that girl who people look at and go “oooh, she should NOT be wearing that!” So, I was opting for a lot of coverage ever since I was prego with my first child. All I could think about was that I didn’t like the way my stomach looked, or my thighs.

I remember once wearing a bikini (nothing skimpy at all) and having my ex-husband say “I’m really surprised you’re wearing that”…. or something to that effect. Way to crush a woman’s confidence.

I’ve been single for about 4 years now. I remember once guy I dated objecting to my mass coverage swimwear, but I just thought “ya right, like I’m going to wear a bikini!”

I have had YEARS to obsess over those trouble spots that I can’t seem to fix and have had no one to give me an outside perspective.

Well, lately I’ve been hearing the word bikini an awful lot. Mr. Off Limits says all the time “I bet you can rock a bikini.” Well, I haven’t seen Mr. Off Limits in years and he has NEVER seen me naked so that didn’t really mean much.

It was The Red Hott Ramblin’ Man that changed my mind. He has been saying “I wish you were here in your bikini lookin’ all sexy” or “too bad you weren’t here in your bikini giving me some motivation”. I don’t even know how many times he’s said or text or emailed the word bikini to me. Well, The Red Hott Ramblin’ Man’s ex-girlfriend was some kind of like Hawaiian Tropic Bikini model or something. That’s super intimidating, but see The Ramblin’ Man HAS seen me naked. I finally decided that if he’s seen me naked and he thinks I can wear a bikini then what the hell…

This also started me thinking about how I think of men’s bodies. Like what I notice about the bodies of the men I date and how important that is to me. I honestly don’t compare usually. The only time I can remember doing that is when I saw a man who was built almost exactly like my ex-husband… then it occurred to me but that’s it.

Mr. Hard Body has a gorgeous body. It’s probably the most toned and damn near perfect of any I have ever seen. That’s nice. It’s nice but not crucial and not super important. I’d like him if he stopped working out completely and became very skinny or if he got all soft and thick. He’s still the guy who OFFERS to help me move. He’s still the guy that stands in my kitchen and chat, brings me his specialty burritos at work, and pulls my pony tail.

He probably has his problem areas that he doesn’t like… Or maybe he hates his crooked teeth or whatever. Whatever it is, I have probably never noticed it or if I have I thought “so what”. I figure, if you’re attractive then you’re attractive. Unless you’ve got some huge major flaw like black teeth from doing drugs or are enormously fat… you’re in like Flinn.

Now, although men are super visual, I think they feel the same way about it. The Ramblin’ Man is not super toned like Mr. Hard Body but that doesn’t mean anything to me. They are just different.

What do you think, readers? Do men see things this way too?? or do they look with a harsher eye??

Published in: on August 31, 2011 at 10:55 am  Leave a Comment  
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