The Duke Has Been Deployed

deployed
It’s been about 2 and a half months now since The Duke climbed on to a military plane and flew halfway around the world for a year long deployment.

If you remember my earlier story about Duke, then you know that we met when we first joined the Marines and he was dating a friend of mine. Then he served a year in Japan where they had broken up and when he returned I went to see him. We had a pretty romantic night together, but minus the hanky panky.. Still one of the absolutely most memorable nights of my life.

Duke and I lost touch for a long time… about 15 years in fact. Then he found me on facebook and we started talking again and haven’t stopped since.

We were good friends back then and now fit back in to each other lives so naturally. We know each ohers core. We respect and care about each other and have managed to share all sorts of secrets honestly and without judgement.

We have been getting closer over this last year to year and a half… however long it has been, texting often and talking on the phone. We poured out our hearts and our tears and all our frustrations with daily life, as well as trying to balance our careers, and relationships.

In so many ways, he’s just what a man should be. Strong and passionate, romantic and protective and he’s crazy about me.

So, all this would be very exciting except that The Duke is married. I’ve been hearing since day one how things are miserable and terrible and awful at home but he hasn’t left her, has he?

We have been messaging pretty much every day and feeling as close as ever… In fact, today the conversation really turned romantic and I had to put the brakes on.

He wants to make a pact that when he returns from deployment, if I am not with anyone and he and the wife break up, we’ll be together. I am hesitant to make any kind of pact. I don’t want to be a factor in anyone’s marriage breaking up. A divorce is such a nightmare. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and I have talked to the Duke about this. I don’t think he realizes how much he’s giving up. Not just financially but also in not having his every days with his son anymore.

Still, I have love for this man and have for a long time. We were always close friends, anytime we’ve been in each other’s lives but we are talking about a family here.

I do believe that sometimes a marriage becomes so bad, and one partner refuses to try to make the marriage any better– the only option left is to go your own way.

Still, once again, I don’t want to be a factor in that situation at all. If it all happened that way, of course I would give it a go with The Duke… but even that has it’s risks. I mean, even though we have been close emotionally, there are so many things he doesn’t know about me… Like I’m messy and really a homebody– while he is not. He has such a BIG life with his career and his non-profit organization and publicity events. My life is simple and small.

I don’t know that our lifestyles are compatible, not to mention I am not leaving this really small town, so he’d have to come here and there is no work. Of course he’ll be retired then with a decent pention, but his ex-wife would be drawing half of that, not to mention half of the rest of his assets.

Just things bouncing around in my head. For now that plan is to just keep talking… being friends… and to keep praying.

Advertisements
Published in: on March 14, 2013 at 9:00 am  Comments (7)  
Tags: , ,

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://search4asoulmate.wordpress.com/2013/03/14/the-duke-has-been-deployed/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. A hint: they rarely ever leave their wives…. just sayin’. 🙂

    • Cakes… for some reason that never occured to me but I’m sure it’s very true. Comment noted.

  2. Your integrity outshines any star I have seen… Kudos to you, a role model to us all….

    • Thanks Pink, but I don’t know about that. At times I think about how his wife would feel if she read our correspondence and it isn’t good. Still, what do I do? Abandon a friend while he’s half way around the world in a war zone? I guess I’ll just keep my foot on the brake.

      • You’re doing the best that you can considering the circumstances. You just keep focusing on what you can do. The rest takes care of itself.. 😀

  3. Having been “the wife” to a husband who pursued a relationship with another woman because he wasn’t happy with his marriage… I think you should be wary. In my experience, my husband kicked me out and pursued the woman because he believed that that was a better option, only to let her move in with him and instantly regret it. She was a means of escape, a barrier that he put up between himself and me.

    The Duke is asking you to make a commitment to him… his first priority should be setting the wheels in motion for his divorce. That would prove to you that he believes it’s all over with her.

    • Yes.. honestly he needs to figure that out without me being any factor in it. I have told him many times to hang on to it if he can. Divorce is incredibly painful.. buut he presses. I just need to step back.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: