Super Surprise Phone Call After a Bummer of a Day

phone callIt all started out pretty good. I had an appointment with an incredible Doctor in a town about 35 minutes away. She is a magical diagnostician and certified in internal medicine. I have also heard from many that she is one the very few and elite brand of caregivers who actually cares about you. I was excited to see…

Well, maybe I was more nervous than excited. My son was out of school sick and going to go with me. I took my chill pills plenty of time in advance, and we walked out the door even a little early.

As soon on to the freeway, it all changed. I was so tense you’d have thought I a woman of steel. Every exit we passed, I wanted to get OFF. All I could think about was how I was getting further and further away from home and the longer I drove, the longer it would take to get back home.

My little 8-year-old son was being terrific. He’s such a great kid.
Making conversation, and acting like he didn’t notice that I was completely distracted by my own racing thoughts as my hands gripped the wheel with deadly force.

Eventually, after going as far as I felt I could roll with the tightness in my chest, so I finally exited and started to tell my little man I had to turn around and miss the appointment.

He replied “Oh, don’t turn around Mommy, you made a plan.”

I looked at him and said “You’re right.. I’ll tell you what, there’s another exit up here a ways. We keep going but if I am still feeling this way by the time we get there, I’ll have to turn around.”

He agreed, and off we went, back on to the damn freeway. The anxiety did not subside, and I ended up turning around. So proud of my little boy being so patient, and encouraging with me.

I made only about half way to the town where my appointment was scheduled, but I swear sometimes I have so much damn anxiety it feels like I can’t get enough anti-anxiety meds in to my body to calm the hell down.

I was disappointed and kind of kicking myself… even a little embarrassed but I called the office and told them honestly what had happened. Part of what’s going on with me is that I am having some intense anxiety, and I let them know I could only make it half way and had to turn around.

They were kind and declined to charge me the cancellation fee, even though I offered to gladly pay it. Unfortunately this amazing Doctor is very busy through February and traveling to China to see her parents. I couldn’t get another appointment until March.

I sighed, and said “ok, God, I guess that’s what is supposed to happen.”

Shockingly, about an hour later the Doctor herself called me up. She said she’s concerned about me since she wouldn’t be able to see me for such a long time and I have been having this extreme anxiety.

She asked me a few questions, called the lab where I had recently had work done and got all that information. She wanted to make sure that they were looking for the right things. She is apparently the wizard if lab work. Then she wrote up orders for more blood tests, looking for the right things I guess, and mailed them off to me.

I was so impressed and feelings so blessed. This woman is surely just as amazing as all the other people who’ve recommended her said she was. I’m excited to work with her.

So far, previous blood tests have yielded no answers, and I am fairly certain my primary caregiver was encouraging me to just give up looking… of course thinking it’s “just anxiety”… but I call BS. Something is going on and she’s not looking in the right place yet. She ran a second round of tests, adding things I don’t know why she didn’t just run in the first damn place.

My nurse friend is convinced it’s either thyroid, hormones, or adrenals… easy as that. AND if there is something there.. this new Doc will find it.

These days I’m fairly convinced I have a thyroid condition… specifically over active thyroid, since it’s caused me to lose like 15 lbs in 1 month. That’s put me at a frail 90 lbs. Seriously, I don’t look well. I lost something like 14% of my already slim body weight in one month! It’s a little frightening. Plus, the tachycardia and any number of other symptoms that I won’t bore you with.

All these issues have obviously put a cramp in my dating life. Not that I had much going on in that department lately, anyway. Still, when you get sick like this… to the point where you can’t function in your daily life, like go to work, or pop in to the grocery store with any level of comfort. It shakes up your priorities a bit.

Still, with everything that’s going on… even with my failure to make it to that appointment– Today was a GOOD day!

Thank God for extraordinary people.

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Published in: on January 29, 2013 at 9:00 am  Comments (8)  
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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I feel your pain and I like your desire to stick with it and not just let them give you the easy answer that it’s all your anxiety. This happens to me all the time, in fact I have a post written about it that I have not published because I was just so angry with how the doctor treated my anxiety. I was seeing them for something else and as soon as the words, anxiety and panic attacks came out of my mouth, it was all, oh all your problems are caused by your anxiety. I lost my mind when I heard this. I’m tired of being brushed off by doctors who say it’s all in your head. I know my body, as I’m sure you know yours and something is off. Good luck!!!

    • You are right.. The minute u say “anxiety” or “panic attacks” with most providers, they shut their ears off. I think the key is a good Doc. Anxiety is a symptom of all kinds of disorders– hormone imbalances, thyroid, adrenal issues. I’m committed to resolving this, whatever it takes. I’m tired of living this way.

      • Good for you, hope you find the answer. The woman that I saw was extremely rude about it too! I ended up telling her that I’m tired of docs giving me that line as soon as I mention anxiety and then she went off on it and kept talking about anxiety. she was a gynecologist!!! Apparently also a shrink? Who knew?

      • Yikes.. I think I’d have just walked out with two words “You’re fired”

      • I was highly tempted to write a nasty complaint letter and I actually did write it, but never sent it. Urrr…so annoying!

  2. So great to hear you are receiving the support you need, including your adorable son! I dream of having such a supportive eight year old like that, mashaAllah. And its amazing you drove out at all, seeking support, and was so courteous. Just know how much you have accomplished,even if it doesn’t feel like a lot…

  3. My under active thyroid packs 15 pounds on me, sometimes in a month! So maybe we could put the two together and both be better!!

    • Well… I believe my issue is hyperthyroid but so far my Doc says all blood tests are “within normal range”… so, no real answers yet. Seeing a world renound Doc on Mar 5th, so hopefully that will shed some light. Whatever it is, it stripped 15 lbs off me in a month. I have my regular appetite back but the lbs keep slowly coming off. Frustrating to feel like u look sick all the time.


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