Damn You WOOOOOD! And I don’t mean the fun kind!

Firewood is seriously driving me crazy. This year I decided to go with firewood only, since the heating fuel is super expensive and I was scared the heater would break again like it did last year.

Well, I was originally thrilled with the last cord of wood I bought cuz two guys name Jake delivered it and even stacked it in my wood shed. Woo-hooo! Until, later I realize I can not start a fire with it because they have split it in to giant supersized pie shaped logs.

Of course, I figure if I can stuff it in to the wood stove, it’ll work. Not so, my friends. Must have been hilarious watching me trying to start a fire with those gigantic pieces… Did manage to burn my hand pretty damn good in the process though. *eye roll*

So then I’ve got guys from church coming over to give me lessons on how to start a fire and bring smaller wood.

Well, today I attempted to put some of my lessons to work, and take a whack at splitting some of the enormous wood pieces. Sounds easy, right? Splitting wood. I even have a brand new ax, courtesy of The Ambassador when he was still around.

Well… Let me tell you… THIS is not so easy, and I have now decided… impossible. I just don’t have the upper body strength to do it. Also, I wanted to punch The Ambassador in the face for buying that stupid ax and making me think he’d be around to do things like chop wood… and then disappearing!

Apparently, I will have to continue getting my church peeps to bring me smaller wood to start the fires, then throwing the giant pieces in when it gets going good and hot.

I’ve also heard bbq lighter fluid works well… but I don’t want the kids to catch me doing that… Next things ya know, I go take the trash out and return to find my 8 year old holding a can of lighter fluid while standing next to my 10 year old with a lighter in her hand! Noooo bueno, dude.

Published in: on January 3, 2013 at 9:00 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. More power to you! Someone tried to give me wood for my fireplace recently and I looked at them dumbfounded like “how the hell am I supposed to start a fire with plain logs?” I then went to stock up on duraflame logs.
    Learning how to use real firewood is on my list of ‘to-do’s.’ Even if it’s not going as planned for you – you’re still doing it!

    • I swear it takes a lifetime to learn all about heating with wood. *sigh* I’m buying heating fuel next time!

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