Wedding Bells for Captain Amazing

Making plans, looking at rings…  He’s really doing it.  Captain Amazing is going to tie the knot with his Mz. Perfect.

When I texted the news to The Ambassador, he said “I thought they broke up”…  Well, they did.  Then got back together, then broke up then back together.  *sigh*  Well, you know what they say–   never give up on someone you can’t stop thinking about.

They were together for quite some time in the town they both grew up in.  They grew up in the same kind of atmosphere.. close families, affluent families.  They are both very active, very athletic.  Capt. Amazing told me he’ll never find anyone who’s a better match for her than him.

On that last point, to tell you the truth, I’m skeptical.  I’m not a big fan of Mz. Perfect but I see why he loves her.  Still, Capt. Amazing and I have been having some very serious, very deep conversations about this huge life decision.  He is absolutely one of the closest friends I’ve ever had throughout my life.  I love him and I know he is a responsible human… capable, bright, intelligent, talented… but I also love him enough to ask the hard questions.

I wish, when I was making big, life altering choices someone would have asked me “are you sure?”  I wish someone would have drawn me out and invited me to process my thoughts with them.

I was so happy to be able to have this conversation with him without obsessing over how I was saying it or whether I should say anything.  I just said it, but I know my friendship with Capt. Amazing is definitely a safe one.  I was proud of that…  I think it’s a sign of my growth.

I also found that Capt. Amazing’s news was bringing up some questions of my own that I wrestle with…

For instance, he and Mz. Perfect will not be having a wedding… no extravagant affair… in fact, almost no affair at all.  Since, it’s not the first marriage for either of them, they plan to go to the courthouse and get ‘er done.

My own issues with this bubbled to the surface.  “It’s a big deal,” I said “it should feel like a big deal.”  So, how do you create that sort of feeling, but without 200 guests and many many dollars spent on flowers, and invitations, and all the like?

They are also planning to get married within a month of the time they become officially engaged.  Now, he has known this woman for about 2 years, so…  In that case, as long as you have known each other a long enough time, how long should an engagement last?

Is it true that…  We are older now.  We know what we want…  so there’s no need to wait so long?

I’m not asking for cultural norms here or anything.  I just find myself thinking “how do I feel about that?”  What is my stance on that kind of situation, if it were me?

Maybe it doesn’t matter.  Maybe it’s different for every couple, but frankly, I’m a little surprised that I’m not really sure how I feel about it.  Hmmm….

Above all, mighty congratulations to the happy couple.  🙂  Love and luck!

-Cadence

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Published in: on December 2, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I think some people are just at a different stage in their lives and wish to remain lower key and not follow the standard tradition. I think maybe it’s more of a tradition when you are younger to go all out and stick to tradition. If you are sure – why wait? These 2 have been throught the relationship trenches together. Good on them! I would probably do something similar myself. Hire a JOP and have a dinner with a smaller group of friends without all the hoopla and frills. They love each other and it’s not about frills frills for them.
    It’s a really just individual thing.
    It’s really nice to hear about another happy ending! tx!

    • Thats true about being at a different stage. I think we are coming to a place where we are concerned only about what is right for us… less and less concerned about how others think it “should” be.


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