The Simple Life

It’s snowing now and at work we are keeping road conditions updated to the public and handling crashes, but as I glance out the window I realize how much I am looking forward to getting home.  Just picturing myself curled up on the couch with a cup of vanilla coffee, warmed by the fire in the wood stove, and gazing out my big bay window at the snowfall gives me butterflies.

I am learning to once again appreciate the simple things.  I am crafting my life in to a simple, peaceful, and beautiful experience here in my lovely little mountain town.  I no longer feel trapped here because I know I am the one who is designing my life here.   I am truly taking time to appreciate the gorgeous home God gave me as a healing place.  I glide across her warm wood floors and curl up enveloped in the warm colors I’ve painted on the walls.

My anxiety is very much improved these days but not by magic.. It has required quite a bit of effort.  As of late, I have been employing visualization quite often.  Whenever I have to venture out to do something that I know would usually cause me to be anxious.. I picture myself getting ready, leaving, making the drive, doing whatever I need to do and then returning home when it’s all done.  It sounds simple but it is helping tremendously…  In fact, I am starting to see a difference between myself and the other Moms around.

I was sitting at the YMCA the other day while my daughter was having dance class, and I got to chatting with my ex-husband’s live in girlfriend…  Let’s call her Miss Mini Van.  I say that because she’s very Suzie Homemaker-ish.  Betty Crocker-esque shall we say, and the first thing she did when they moved in together was trade her car in for a brand new mini van.  That cracks me up just in that she seems to be equipped with all the Domestic Homemaker genes that I don’t have.

Anyway, somehow I end up talking to Miss Mini Van about simplifying your life.  She snorts in her exasperation and says “Yeah right!” then dives in to a monologue about her kindergartener’s 5 costume requirement for 2 separate dance classes, not to mention that since she has now entered cohabitation, they have 5 kids combined and each with their own schedule…. etc, etc, etc.

Next I bumped in to yet another dance Mom who was also incredibly busy.  She regaled me with stories of her church volunteer service and having been bouncing from one meeting to another all day.

Several things happened.  First, their frantic energy did not affect me.  I sat listening and participating in the conversation but without being drawn in to the melodrama.  Second, I felt very removed from that lifestyle.  These women talked as though they were being dragged around by wild horses, like they had no choice in the matter.  Ohhh, not so, I thought. My life does not feel like that any more.  I no longer live in chaos, probably because I have been making progress cleaning out the chaos in my own mind.  I’ll be a devilish smile jumped to my face, because I felt like I have found the secret!  It felt good.  It felt really good.

I remember feeling like those women.  I was lost… like my life was running away without me.  I felt like I didn’t matter and all the things I was running around doing in life were about everyone but me.  Plus, I felt frantic inside.

Today I felt so different, and so very much at peace.  It was incredible.  So, I sat for a while and looked at my life.  I asked myself whether my actions, and my life are aligned with my values.  I do meaningful work.  My kids are LOVED, cherished, and well cared for.  I take time to enjoy simple things in life.  My kids have activities but they also have time to climb trees, and jump on the trampoline.  I make something beautiful to contribute to the world (my writing).  I pursue a relationship with my God daily, and my children know the Lord.  I am striving to be a more kind person, and I am teaching my kiddos kindness as well.

Things seem to be lining up beautifully.   Of course I don’t have every single thing I want in life…  I’m still working through issues.  I still want a partner, and I miss my friends who moved away but I am making major progress attaining that inner peace I’ve been praying for.  For the moment, all is well.

Published in: on November 20, 2012 at 9:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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