I Cracked Up My Beautiful Car!!

I was zipping around town the other day having tons of anxiety.  I closed the book on Mom and started working through some of my baggage about romantic relationships and it shook me.

I pulled in to the gas station, distracted by my raging anxiety and hit one of those cement pylons put in place to protect the gas pumps– wedged my charger tight up against the post causing maybe as much as $1500 worth of damage to my car.

Once I realized what I had done, I attempted to free myself.  I had to move the car gingerly back and forth… hearing the door scraaaaape as I tried to dislodge it.  Ugh, God!!

Once I was able to step out of the car, my mind instinctively turned to how I was going to feel about this.  I surprised myself actually.  When I felt the negative thoughts starting to come on, I told myself “STOP”… and then I considered how I would absorb this.  I consciously decided not to start beating myself up over it.  Frustrating yes, but it happens.

This was a huge step for me because I have been working through a whole lot of toxic negative self talk lately.  I was shocked, not only that I recognized my mind starting to go down that road, but also that I could stop it and have so much control over it.

Had I gone down the path of negativity, my mind would have thought of every possible negative thing people could say when they saw it.  I could have thought about what a giant pain in the ass it was going to be to have it fixed, and how much it was going to cost…  It’s funny how your mind is like a magnet, if it decides on negative, it will suck in all kinds of negativity to support that position.  NOT this time thought!

In my mind I said “STOP” and then immediately starting traveling a path of positivity.  We could also use the words Dr. Phil uses in Self Matters..  authentic & Accurate statements.

Frustrating yes, but it happens.  Insurance will pay for the damages.  I’ll figure out a way to get the $500 deductible.  I know plenty of people who has roughed up their cars….  Including The Hunky Mechanic.

He was once backing his $60,000 truck out of the garage and stopped for some reason..   probably distracted.  He’s an overthinker like I am.  He was alerted at the bang of the garage door coming down on the cab of the truck.  In a panic he started moving the truck, trying to get out-of-the-way but instead incurring more and more damage.  Well, if he can do it…

My mind just kept going down the positive road.  Shocks me really….  Ever since I had a car as a teenager, any type of mechanical work needed would hella stress me out.  I have a pretty tight budget, so the thought of having to come up with hundreds of dollars out of the blue was worry OVERLOAD… but this time was different.

I’m still amazed at seeing the therapy working.  I mean, I just don’t know what else to say.  If I was still smashing on myself over any possible misstep, this would have been a miserable experience.  I’d have made it much worse than it had to be.   Instead, it’s simply an inconvenience.  Wow!

Published in: on October 9, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (12)  
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12 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Growth is a beautiful thing. Sorry about your car but happy for your response to it.

  2. You are cracking me up with your description of being “hella stressed out” in the past. I thought only California girls used “hella” as an adjective! Good to see your Dr. Phil book is hella working!

    • Well, I’ve been in Cali since 1996 so I guess some California girl has wormed it’s way in by now.

  3. My husband is a body man. I will never forget the first time I had to tell him I scratched our car. I was so scared, because I had grown up with some volatile personalities, but I braced myself, and told the truth, and when he shrugged it off, it literally changed my life. I was never scared of the truth again!

    • Love that little story.. Maybe that’s why it’s hard for me too. Spent my whole: childhood trying not to piss people off so I wouldn’t get the shit kicked out of me… trying to protect myself. These days I mostly struggle with disclosing things that are really important to me. I’m terrified the other person will smash on me in my state of vulnerability. I feel this way all the time in therapy… makes it really hard, but I just keep going. Maybe I need to learn things little bites at a time.

      • Yep! I remember as a kid I once broke a window. I told the truth. The truth was not believe. I was berated for 4 hours. I finally made up a lie, and it was believed! URGH Lucky me my hubby made it possible to stop living that way.

  4. You’re amazing. So amazing. Also why i don’t own a new vehicle anymore. HAHA. Love your STOP for negative thoughts. I’m reminding myself to do the same. 😀

    • After all the journaling for my therapy stuff, stopping the negative thoughts happened very naturally… which surprised me & how different I felt was terrific! If this had happened a few years ago.. maybe even a few months ago, I’d have been incredibly upset.

      • Yes, today at the train stop I was gonna spiral, and thought ‘STOP’ to the negative train. Ain’t gonna get on that ride. No siree. Thank you sooo much. You have changed my life. 😀

      • Wow… thats quite a compliment. I’m a bit awestruck. Thank u. Therapy moving along so quickly now. More to share… hope u stay with me. 🙂 In a sense, we are traveling together.

      • Awww.. hahaa. I’m struck by how much we have in common. 😀 Really, a true hero. I’m definitely here! Sometimes I get busy, but I’m definitely here for as long as God sees me as a benefit to you 😀 And we are totally traveling together 😀

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