Chasing The Elusive Emotional Intimacy

 I feel like everyone I have some emotional intimacy with at the moment is being removed from my life one by one. 

The Sultry School Teacher drove the moving truck out a couple days ago.  I now officially LOATHE moving trucks, uhaul in particular.

The Duke is getting deployed to Afganistan to fight insurgents and live in a damn mud hut.  He’s one of the very few people on this planet that I feel comfortable talking about anything with.  I know he will love me… even if I ask him the tough questions that trouble him and he’s been trying to ignore.

Duke is amazing and struggling so much right now.  He’s being deployed before the holidays, for a year and to some very dangerous work.  It’s not the deployment that’s got him so much troubled though…  It’s the reactions, or lack of reactions of those around him.  Friends, and family alike have ignored his phone calls, and voicemail messages about the deployment.  His wife even neglected to show any concern what so ever.  She simply starting chattering on about the vacation she plans to take when he’s gone.  He’s marching off to face possibly the most intense crucible of his life and he feels like no one gives a shit.

Captain Amazing is making similar types of noises.  Miss Perfect broke up with him once again.  She wants to chase partying and debautchery in law school…  *snort*  Hope that works out for her.  Also, he’s moving soon and feels like no one gives a damn that he’ll be gone.

It turns out he was hired by the same company, but they have decided they want him in the Los Angeles office instead.  It’s a totally amazing offer, high end of salary range he was hoping for, plus bonus package, PLUS 5 digit signing bonus!  Plus it’s a shorter flight to get back to Oregon to see his son.  What a windfall after a year of being unemployed and trying to make business deals that kept falling through.  Still, with all that  he’s not feeling exhuberant and he can’t understand it… He’s sad.

I think we’re all just chasing the elusive emotional intimacy.  We live in such a removed, distant, unconnected society, and our society has become very transient as well–  so, even when we find it, it is often fleeting.

We have created all kinds of technological social connection devices and programs but it seems to be pushing us further apart instead of bringing us closer.  Maybe we’re closer on a superficial level.  We can keep up with each other on Facebook or Twitter, but those are just the persona that we put out to the world.   Those are only the things we are comfortable putting up on an electronic billboard.  It is certainly NO substitute for face to face contact.

Our society seems to not realize how important it is that we feel each other’s energy, that we look in to each other’s eyes, and put our arms around each other.  My neighbor who holds a psychology degree has told me we each need 4 hugs a day just to survive… well, people, I am highly deficient these days.  Are you?

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Published in: on September 1, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (5)  
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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I am as well… recently wrote something expressing very similar sentiments… need to find some new connections both on the romantic and friendship front!

    • I know so many people going through the same type of thing. I guess transition in the stars right now.

  2. My heart goes out to you….

    • Ahh that’s sweet pink. Thank you but I am sure you understand, as I do… God is doing it for a reason. Difficult none the less but I am sure there’s a reason.

      • Absolutely! 😀


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