The ME Projects

So, I’ve mentioned the ME projects in my last couple blog posts.  I’ve posted about some of them so far.  I’ve started a flurry of projects as I have a flood of energy that I’m no longer putting in to that situation with The Ambassador, and I’ve decided to put dating on hold for a while.

First, I amped up my workout from a 3 mile walk to a mostly run, with a sack full of crunches added in at the end.  It feels good, and I can see my run pace improving every day.  I’m struggling keeping on track with it because work kicked me back to graveyard shift this week.  Working a 12 hour shift from 7pm to 7am is really a struggle to me.  Some of my shift partners seem to adjust to this schedule easily but for me, even with blacking out the windows in my room, wearing a sleep mask and having my children at thier father’s on my work days–  I struggle to get enough sleep.  I’ll sleep for maybe a solid 6 hours if I’m lucky.  Then I’m up puttering around for a while, then nap for another two hours and back getting ready for work.   The only way  I manage to get a work out in seems to be to do it the minute I get off work.  After 12 hours and being up all night long, it’s a bitch to even pull my running shoes on… but I’ll get back on track.

I’m not looking to get all ripped or anything, just firm up a bit and the walking just wasn’t doing it.  I’ve been working on an extra 10 pounds for the last 2 years, and nothing I do seems to make any difference… Walk, don’t walk, eat nothin’ but salads, protien, and fruit.  Damn stubborn 10 pounds just won’t let go, so I figured I’d try and run it off.

Next, resolve my anxiety completely.  I’m tired of it, and intend to pull it out by the roots.  I started back in therapy to work through whatever psychological aspects are causing it.  So far, I don’t feel I’ve made much progress.  All my therapist seems to want to do is talk about my dating life.  I know it’s fascinating, but damn… I didn’t come here for that.  I feel like he keeps getting distracted by it and I have to bring him back around to keep him on task.

Recently, after a couple of really bad days, and this particular project has risen to the top of the list.  I’m damn tired of the hassle of this anxiety / panic and having it interfere with my life — and I have resolved to pull it out by the roots.  For too long I’ve been doing nothing but treating symptoms…  No longer!  So… therapy…  having my hormones tested, and if that doesn’t yield any answers, I’ll have my thyroid etc tested as well.  Whatever it takes.

Third, I’m writing a novel and I fully intend to finish it this time.  I’ve started several projects… screenplays, a non-fiction book with Captain Amazing, etc.  I have a hard time applying the ass to the seat sometimes.  So far, I’ve made it well in to Chapter 2.

Fourth, achieve balance.  This one’s tough.  Almost all aspects are running smooth but the social aspect seems to requir a very large amount of effort to schedule times with girlfriends (They all have thier own lives and kids).  Also, it doesn’t help that people keep Fing movin’ away.  This one I’d say is tightly linked to resolving the anxiety, as it affects my social life much more than any other side of my life.

Fifth, cultivate appreciation.  I have a box chalk full of giant sized index cards.  I fill a card, front and back, with things I am thankful for and/or proud of.  I was doing it every day there for a while, but now maybe a couple times a work.  It works though.  I am developing such a love of the simple things in life, it’s amazing.  I am enjoying the town I live in, and the people I live with SO much more.  I’m sure it’s related to those cards.

Oh, and last of all–  keep a cleaner house.

I have also begun tracking all this with a sort of chore chart.  I am hoping the small reward of checking off the boxes will help spur me along plus I read something that said something about tracking increasing probably for success.  Wish me luck!

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Published in: on August 7, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (6)  
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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You just need the Kanye West Workout Plan – Score you an NBA Player and you can end this blog.

    Seriously, when I was able to run I could never get rid of the little fat left. You may want to do some lunges and stuff

    • HA! An NBA player? I can’t even imagine what that would look like since I’m 4’10”!

  2. good luck!!!!!! keep at it!!! go girl!

    • Thanks lady! It’s starting to feel pretty awesome. 🙂

  3. Good luck! I may be embarking on a little bit of this type of thing soon too.


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