The Richness of My Life

“People come and people go— they’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book.  When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures.  Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past.”  –from The Rescue by Nicholas Sparks

The Sultry School Teacher is moving.  😦  She’s moving 7 hours away, back to a major gigantic city where I’ll probably never visit.  I’d like to but my anxiety and/or panic says “hellz no!” at even the thought of it.

Don’t let the above quote fool you in to thinking I’m feeling all zen about this.. believe me, I’m not.  I’ve cried my little heart out about it.  The thing that stung the most was the thought that her kid’s wouldn’t be there next door for my kiddos anymore.

Our children are so similar…  The girls love crafts, and animals, and art.  They dress up the dogs, or turn up the 80s music and dance like crazy in the living room.

The boys are little athletes, and can sit and talk baseball, play catch, or game together all day long.

I see them learning so much from each other.  I see them learning about dealing with people simply by interacting with one another.

Of course I am sad for me too.  The Sultry School Teacher is one of my closest friends.  She’s a true one too, you know, the kind that will listen to you tell your story over and over again until you get it out of your system.

She’s in a tough spot though, and I totally understand.  She’s been driving those 7 hours each way about twice a month or more for the last year in order to share custody with her ex.  I don’t know how she does it!  So now everything has worn her down.   She’s tired of the driving, tired of the fighting…  She’s just going to head back south.  There might still be fighting but it’s one less thing to fight over and a hell of a lot less driving.

This was a blow for me…  It really isn’t the best time for this whole to have happened, but that doesn’t really matter.   I  can’t control it, all I can do is roll with it.  I’m learning to do that..

I have had some truly incredible people drift in and out of my life.  There have been times when I only got 3 months with some of those people…  A hefty three months packed full of meaning, and purpose, and debauchery, exploration, self discovery and raucous fun…  I have more memories from some of those 3 month blocks than I do during other 10 year blocks.

As I think back I wonder if because we knew it would only be three months, we lived it hard and fast.

Next there were some amazing people I got to have for a few years.  Then things changed again and seemed to slow waaaay down.

Over the last 5 years I have had some souls that entered my life and made a fairly lasting impression in just a few months, and others that came careening in to and out of my life several times over the course of about a year.

It seems to me that the span of time people I connected with recently started with a few months, and has progressed to about a year.  The Ambassador… That was a year almost exactly.  The Sultry School Teacher… a year.  The Sweet Tri-athlete about a year.  I suspect she will be the next one to move.

During this past year I have found myself acutely aware of how magical the time was.  The people I have met or reconnected with — extraordinary, but I knew in my gut that it wouldn’t last.  I knew it was fleeting like a summer romance, or a shooting star…  things wouldn’t go on being this enchanted for long.  They would change.  Such is life… ever changing.

I have had this kind of realization before and it drives me to grab up whatever time I have left with them…  Don’t be lazy…  go over there, make time for them every chance you get because before ya know it–  the shooting star is gone.  Sadly, others don’t always feel the same way about it though.

I have found it’s much harder for the one who is being left behind than it is for the one who’s leaving.  The one who’s leaving has so many distractions…  A new life to put together, things to pack, rentals to find, etc.

The one left behind however, has much more time to ponder the events, recall the memories and mourn the loss of daily interaction with that friend.  The one left behind must find a way to go on with everyday life until the hole in her life it heals over.

We moved all the time when I was a kid, but I was never the one left behind.  That’s an experience I began having after I reached adulthood.

Now, I find myself in the midst of change– the past year’s spell broken.   It’s like life has sent wave of change to wash over me…  At times it feels as if I’m floating and holding my breath, peaceful… other times the power of the water grabs hold of me and slams my body in to the sandy surface below.

Today, however, I notice my eyes open to who will be coming in to my life as the others leave.  Today I don’t feel like crying but instead, am feeling the richness of my life after so many incredible characters have drifted in and out of it.  Today I am feeling tingling curiosity —  Who will the next characters in the next book be?

Published in: on July 26, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (5)  
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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Sorry to hear that. I know what a difference a good girl friend can make! I have some true friends for sure, but I don’t have that one girl to hang out with anymore either. I live in a town where I’m kind of scared to take a chance on anyone new… but lucky me a few of the ones I cherish seem to be coming back around, getting to a point where they realize they miss me too! 🙂 You know, as much as you like to challenge yourself, a trip to the city for the sultry school teacher might be doable one day! Until then, maybe she’ll come back from time to time for you…

    • She will visit from time to time… I have no doubt about that. I have begun my journey to resolve my anxiety issues so I am sure I’ll get down there eventually, but we all need people in our lives every day. I have learned that proximity is SO important. It’s why we move in with our lovers, stay close to our families and live near our friends. More great words from Nicholas Sparks — “It took me a long time to understand that distance can ruin even the best of intentions.”

  2. You’re right. It’s always harder for the ones left behind. Great post!

    • Hey thanks… Definitely worse being left behind. I’d trade the emotional headache for all the packing, planning and bs anyday.

  3. You’re so very right, and I totally get it. Wowee, what a timely reminder for me as people exit, new people enter, but really, only to exit. Sometimes, I wish we had advanced warning, like a calendar schedule, but then you realize, well, it’s moving along exactly as it was meant to. 😀


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