Voluntary Celibacy for God Knows How Long

The Hunky Mechanic texted me the other day and offered up some “intimate company– no strings attached”.  That may just be the exact oposite of what I want.  That phrase seemed to snap me out of this head space I’d been in.  It got me thinking about what I want now, and how I want to go about things as I move forward and get on with my life.

I’ve spent some time thinking about my past relationships, dates and other debacles in my romantic life.  When I look back over the last year spent going slow, I realize  it was really beneficial.  That approach, while sometimes excruciating, certainly did it’s job.  I know The Ambassador incredibly well, and he knows my heart.  We spent time together because we genuinely enjoyed each other’s personalities.

So…  I’ve decided that’s the way I’m going to go about things for the time being.  The Hunky Mechanic is not going to like it, and to be honest, I’m a little shocked myself.  When I started this blog there is no possible way I’d have taken on some kind of sexual fast like this.  Hell, I had a hard time getting through the third date sometimes… but like I said in my last post.. I’m changed.

I’m not foolish enough to think it’s going to be easy either, especially with The Hunky Mechanic hanging around.  When we were together three years ago, the sex was incredible.  Just thinking about the last time I stood in his shop with him, and he slid up behind me kissing my neck makes me shiver.  Still, I’m going to try to do it.  I’ve spent more than enough time chasing what my body wants… now it’s time to follow what my soul wants.

I found a book on Amazon called Sensual Celibacy: The Sexy Woman’s Guide to Using Abstinence for Recharging Your Spirit, Discovering Your Passions, Achieving Greater Intimacy in Your Next Relationship.  That is what my soul craves.  Check out the description…

ABSTINENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW STRONGERIf you’re single and in between relationships — or just about to embark on a new one — then you can’t underestimate the importance of making the right choices when it comes to physical intimacy. When should it happen? If it’s already a part of your relationship, is it meaningful to both of you? Is there a strong emotional foundation in place? Or did you jump right in — and get hurt? And how can you preserve your self-respect the next time around?

Donna Marie Williams wrestled with these questions for years until she discovered the empowering nature of celibacy: abstaining from sex for a self-determined time while embracing new opportunities for self-discovery, personal growth, and heightened self-esteem. Now she shares her knowledge in a simple but effective 10-step program that will help you lead a happier, healthier, and even sexier life. Sensual Celibacyreveals:

* Why charting your relationship history can be a real eye opener

* How celibacy can help you focus on what you really want out of life

* Ways to stay true to your celibacy commitment, even if you’re in a relationship

* When to end your celibacy, with intelligence, confidence, and joy

If you’re ready to rethink your approach to relationships and reconnect with yourself, then let Sensual Celibacy guide you to a happier, healthier lifestyle.

So…  I’m going to order that book first thing payday.

Sex is a powerful force… funny how removing it for a time can help so many other things seem clearer.  It’s also become so standard these days… so expected, and I don’t like that.  It diminishes the intrigue and intimacy.  After having waited so long with The Ambassador, built an emotional foundation and experienced a greater intimacy… I just have no interest in going back to a more shallow type situation.

The Mechanic is going to think I’ve gone crazy… *sigh* but oh well.  This is what God’s put on my heart for my journey and I’m going to follow it.

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Published in: on July 17, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (9)  
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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. cheers! I should do that. And more cold showers! 😉

    • Well, I’m sure glad I chose it. My heart needs a break. There always seems to be a lot of things going on in my world & at this point I am really pleasantly surprised what a weight off my mind this is.

      • I have to work on my “NO.” LOL! I believe guys like The Embassador pass through our lives for a reason and to teach us, and help us define what we REALLY want (and don’t want.)

      • I figure i just have to stay out of situations that would require me to say no.. for a little while anyway. Lol

      • I have been thinking alot about this tx to you. I think (for me)I want the next time to be “right” with the right person – someone I want to be close to, not just to get off. I realised that in the early stages I need to remind myself “I’m not ready for -insert name here- to see that side of me yet.” tx… for the thought provoking!

      • I am on that same page. 😉

  2. Sex is just so expected lately. I run into many guys where it’s like “put out or you’re out” – and I’m often out. So, good for you for holding off until you find the relationship you’re looking for!!

  3. Awesome post! How beneficial. Thank you! 😀

    Pink.


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