For As Long As It Takes…

I have been continuing to move through my personal growth and development, go to therapy ect.

At this point I am mainly focusing on feeling my emotions, identifying them and just letting them flow through me.  I am doing the best I can to take care of me.

I hadn’t heard from The Hunky Mechanic in a week, so I figured I had better go talk to him.  I washed up the glass Pyrex baking pan he left at my house a few weeks ago and headed over to his shop.

It was kind of an odd conversation at first, because I knew he was busy.  He actually had a customer in the shop with him, but he made time for me.  I was uncertain if I should broach any personal subjects with him, but he started it… so I went with the flow.

I acknowledged that I’d been MIA, while he said he’d been trying to give me space.  He knows I’ve been working through some stuff.   He did say “Just tell me what you need.  If you need to talk about something, I’ll be there.  If you need space, or whatever.  Do what you’ve gotta do.”  It was very refreshing to hear, as it seemed to me he was pushing for relationship status from day one.  I told him I’m in no shape to jump in to anything right now, and honestly am still dealing with the last break up.

He continued saying it was fine, and I could call him if I felt like it or not if I didn’t.  It was a great conversation.  I even fessed up to feeling like he and I aren’t right for each other.

He patiently laid it all out saying “It was going good, until that one night… but there was that situation (his Dr. prescribed short-term abstinence) but we talked about it and it’s done.  And ya know, you can over think things.”

“Oh yes you can!” I replied ” I have done it many times.”  And with that I left feeling kind of refreshed.

It’s hard to not get reeled in with this one.  He’s smart, sexy, reliable.  He’s trust worthy and welcomes me right on in.  He lives close by.  Arrrgh.. it’s frustrating having to admit this, but I just don’t think we’re right for each other.  Plus, this thing with The Ambassador is proving to be much more difficult than I thought.  Still, I am determined to work THROUGH it in a healthy way, so I have given myself permission to grieve the relationship for as long as it takes.

It’s been another 3 days since that exchange and although he’s crossed my mind– I’ve had no urge to call The Hunky Mechanic since then.  I don’t know but I’m not going to force anything… I’m just going to let it happen naturally… which apparently means nothing is happening at all right now, and I’m fine with that.

Published in: on May 31, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (5)  
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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You’re amazing for admitting how you truly feel through your heart. You’re an incredible woman, just you remember that as you let it all flow out and through. 😀 I keep your words with me daily as I do the same. 😀


    • Thanks Pink. Out & through… Out & through…

      • Awwww.. yes! With Friends cheering you on Through and Through! 😀


  2. my thoughts…I share with you some goodness

  3. You go girl! You’re on the right track. Now, we need pictures of this hunky mechanic, just to be sure he is aptly named! LOL

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