Navigating The Facebook Break-Up

Follwing his recent break up with Miss Perfect, Captain Amazing was grappling with how to manage the “Facebook break-up”.  As always, I responded with how I have managed such things in the past.

The night of the break-up talk, I immediately rushed over to The Sultry School Teachers.  Before we even cracked open the drinks, she had her laptop open and sitting on Facebook.  I rushed to unfriend The Ambassador because I knew it would hurt like hell to see him change his relationship status…  AND I’d stalk his profile in the post break-up days over analyzing every comment on his page.

I later realized that  if I hid the relationship status, I could avoid all the pesky comments from fringe friends on Facebook.  “Oh, what happened?”  blah blah blah, that would just grind in the pain. Plus, people are idiots, and would comment on things like that even if you haven’t actually talked to them in 10 years.

So, I hid it, and when I eventually hopped over to The Ambassador’s page, it turned out he had done the same.  That was SO much easier on my heart than to see “single” broadcast out to the world.

I’m so glad I figured out the hiding before changing the status would STOP Facebook from broadcasting my recent break-up to the entire damn world.  That’s ALL I need…  A bunch of NOT close friends jumping on my status like “OMG what happened?  Are you ok?  I’m so sorry.” blah blah blah.  I realize they mean well, but I don’t need that shit.

Plus, to top it all off, I can’t help but think about one of my cousins.  She’s a young girl and kinda screwed up.   Ok, she’s bat shit crazy….   I swear, every time she changes her relationships status, I just roll my eyes.  She’s so screwed up.   I don’t need people lookin’ at me that way… or feeling sorry for me.  Fuck that.

I have come to HATE the stupid Facebook relationship status feature.  I don’t know why I ever thought that was a good idea.  It’s just too much information to put out there to Facebook friends and just another thing to possibly become an issue in the relationship.  Why does your status say “in a relationship”?  Why DOESN’T yours?   Bleck!  No Thank you!

I don’t think I’ll ever change the stupid relationship status to visible ever again.  If you are really my friend and you don’t know who my man is…  I guess you better ask.

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Published in: on March 15, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (17)  
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17 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Oh, I know the cyber divorce all too well and have written about it myself. I figured out the trick of hiding the status myself but when you are connected on every possible social networking site, it would have just been easier to fake my own death.

    http://wildgeesethatfly.com/2011/12/27/dating-for-dummies-in-4-easy-steps/

    • Hey Wildgeese– sorry it took me so long to approve your comment and reply but for some reason, it got sent to the spam file! Loooved the line “would have just been easier to fake my own death.”

  2. I’m with you on that one. Have always had mine hidden as my long term man was never on fb. Over this last year of dating and adding the new single friends I have met, I just shake my head about all the drama around the fb relationship status changes. My favourite is when the one changes it to ‘in a relationship’ and the other obviously doesn’t accept!!!

    • Damn, that’s brutal! At least The Ambassador didn’t do that!

      • Ohhh! I’ve seen it a couple times… its sad to watch. It just hangs there ‘while’ friends wait to see who the taker is….

        I smiled when I saw he read that he did that too… you both were thoughtful 🙂

  3. Another good post.

    I am so fragile, I just deleted my Facebook account 🙂

    (May I suggest, if you are going to have nicknames for people, you create a page to identify who they are. You can link to them and those of us with lesser attention spans can figure things out.)

    • I have been considering making a page to identify the characters in my personal drama. Guess I better get on it. Thanks 🙂

    • Gonna have to check that out. I think sometimes people post uber personal stuff as a cry for attention.

  4. If you really want to confuse them take a picture in a diamond cocktail ring, first on your left finger then your right. They won’t know what’s happening…and just don’t comment. It’s kind of fun to make people wonder since they’re so nosey to begin with!

    • I’ll keep that in mind next time I see someone post a pic of a ring. Lol

  5. I hid mine too! I’m keeping it hidden forever. There’s something so humiliating about changing your status to “single” and having it pop up in everyone’s (most of who are married) news feed.

    • Yes, I have been privy to far too many conversations about people who constantly change thier status every time they meet someone… Said conversations are always accompanied by eye rolls and the shaking of heads. NO THANKS. Not this girl.

  6. What are the options available to you? Can you just make it blank?

    This is one of those things that are fun when you have one to flaunt but then is not so good when it goes off.

    Those that flaunt make me feel miserable though 🙂

    • Yes, “hiding” the relationship status is the same as making it blank. You are right… it’s fun when you’ve got something to flaunt, but not any other time.

  7. […] a visit! Anyone who has ever navigated the lousy dating scene after 30 will relate. Especially this post about changing your Facebook Relationship Status post-breakup. Been […]

  8. cause chest pains

    Navigating The Facebook Break-Up | Search 4 a Soul Mate


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