Playdate Sabotage– My Ex’s New Girlfriend

As I have mentioned in the past, I live in a very small town. SO small, in fact, that it is often said that in this town, you don’t lose your girlfriend, you just lose your turn. We also call dating “The Dating Shuffle”, because there are so few single people… We tend to just shuffle through the deck. Kind of yucky and Jerry Springer… but that’s how it’s done around here, I guess.

My ex-husband seems to have a complete inability to date anyone that I have never met or don’t have to see on a regular basis. It’s been five years, and in that time it’s happened time and time again. (Incidentally, I have managed to never date anyone he knows, sees on a regular basis, or is in the same line of work)
Recently, after a stretch of being single, I started to get the impression that he had met someone. He has being less irritated and not hassling me about every-frickin’-thing.

Also, after my kiddos came back from Disneyland with him they told me a story about how the TSA (security idiots at the airports) took away a snow globe he had bought as a Valentine’s Day present for “someone”. Hmmmmmm. They told me the story time and time again, as I’m sure they were all revved up at their Dad having blasted the TSA. lol

After said return from the happiest place on earth, my son was invited to go bowling with a friend from school. It’s not a buddy that I ever really hear him talking about, and soon he mentioned the boy’s last name and I realized I knew his mother.
Over a decade ago when my ex and I moved to this wasteland, I had worked with her. I liked her actually. She was a young single Mom and seemed to be the only one at my place of employment that was down to earth. I worked at a bank admin center, and all the women had been born there, grew up there, maybe left for a couple years for college, then returned to live here until they died. Ugh! NOT my kinda people really, and they did not like me. I wasn’t in the clique, I suppose. Not that I gave a shit.

Anyway, this gal was a struggling single Mom, driving a huge old car that was probably 20 years old. She was friendly and quick to laugh. I liked her… and she was the -only- one I liked.
Not long after our short time working together, she married a cop who worked for the same agency as my ex and I bumped in to her from time to time. At one point she was even a Facebook friend.
Later, she did childcare in her home and we almost put our kids with her. We ended up finding another option though. So, when my son’s father let me know she had invited our boy to go bowling, of course I had no problem with that.

He did, however, repeatedly ask me if she needed to pick him up. “No” I told him “I think I’ll take our girl bowling at the same time. We’ll just go to the other end of the bowling alley, so we don’t bother on them.” After sending the same response to his question like three different times, he finally got the picture.

I walked in to the bowling alley completely surprised. There are new owners and that day it wasn’t the deserted ghost town I was used to seeing. In fact, it was packed. No lanes for my daughter and I— but one would be opening up in a few minutes. It was right next to the boys.

“Cool, I’ll take it.” I said.

We got shoes and I suited up the kids. I was waiting for The Sultry School Teacher to join us, when an interesting conversation ensued.

The other Mom started chatting with my daughter saying “How was disneyland? I heard you went on California Screamin’ like 10 times! I even saw pictures.” SCREEEEEECHING BRAKES…

My stomach dropped and my heart sped up. Are you fucking kidding me? Am I on a playdate with my ex’s new girlfriend?? I know he’s not an active Facebook user, so I’m sure she didn’t see the pictures there. But wait a minute… She’s married to one of his employees. He’s her husband’s boss. What is he doing even talking to her?

Thank God The Sultry School Teacher arrived, so I could spew out some of the thoughts that were overrunning my conscious mind.
I continued to chat with the suspected new girlfriend, thinking it was just a fluke. My suspicions must be wrong, she’s married. Until I mentioned my daughter’s upcoming birthday.

“On my boy’s last birthday we tried to do the party together, but it was just too uncomfortable… so we went back to doing them separately.” I said.

“I bet!” she replied “I’m going through a divorce right now and I can’t imagine being around his family.”

I looked over at The Sultry School Teacher, who rolled her eyes. Then I excused myself. I ran to the bathroom to attempt to stop the impending panic attack I felt coming on. While in the restroom, I remembered she used to be a Facebook friend so I attempted to stalk her profile. NOPE, unfriended at some point. Hmmm. No surprise there.

After some breathing and logical self talk… What does it matter? It’s been FIVE YEARS and I certainly don’t want him. Of course, he could have given me a heads up. Ha! Ya right, that’d NEVER happen. Exhale… breathe breathe breathe.

I makes no sense at all why this would be bothering me at all… but it was. It reaaaally was. Weird. Figured I’d come to terms with all that junk after having to see his last girlfriend every single day when I dropped off my kids at school. Apparently not.

Biiig breath, and I headed out to rejoin the party. And a party it was…. Next she mentioned that she’d be making the cake for my daughter’s party at her Dad’s. After that, I was totally convinced. Yep. She’d done everything except out right tell me she’s schtooping my ex.

I also found out that not long after she and her husband split, her husband started sleeping with the girl that had been her best friend since they were like 10 years old (shuffle shuffle shuffle)
She found out because the girl stopped talking to her, started hanging out with him— AND her kids caught them kissing. Later, her kids even saw the girl in his bed. I can only imagine how incredibly angry she must have been.

I asked her if she’d confronted aformentioned former friend. She said she had and it wasn’t pretty. I shivered. Fuuuuck that. I don’t want to be on either end of that brawl.

Then I realized, as angry as she was at her ex– she had done him one better. She’s fucking his boss!

Shocking. Aren’t those guys supposed to stick together? Maybe not a good idea to piss off the guys that are supposed to back you up. Then I remembered my ex had lost pretty much all his loyalty to people years before we split… Not so shocked anymore.

A few days later… Ding! I get a text, and who should it be? My ex’s new girlfriend! How nice of him to give her my number so she can once again arrange to pick up my child. :-/

She’s gonna regret that. I remember when the last girlfriend was trying to be all helpful with the kids. I think girls take pity on single Dads… or underestimate them thinking they need help with their kids. The last girlfriend did the helping with the kids thing for a while, and it gradually became more and more often, until she finally put a stop to it. See, if you are willing to “help” my ex, he’ll take full advantage of it. Ah well, she’ll learn that on her own.

Truth be told, I actually like this New GF. She is authentic and genuine. I’m sure if she were pissed at me, she’d let me know it. I respect that. The last girlfriend, while always pleasant to me even when I was blasting her, or mean mugging her… She was just fakey fake plastic. The New Girlfriend is not.

I’m also thinking maybe this one will stick around. She’s gorgeous, in a natural way. Blond, fairly tall, slender… super flat tummy (& after 4 kids!)… Nice size rack. She’s warm, good with the kids, closer to his age than the last one…. and she’s got fire in her belly. My ex appreciates that….. obviously, he married me. lol. Plus, she’s in the middle of a divorce. When I met my ex, I was in the middle of divorcing my first husband and I remember he was wonderful to me.

He might even marry her. :-O He’s said many many times that he’ll never get married again, but I’ve got to tell ya… My intuition is telling me something here. It’s screaming at me, in fact, and surprisingly that really makes me smile. I’m off to call The Gypsy Woman and see what she has to say about it!

Published in: on March 6, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (8)  
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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. The TSA are assholes.But I knew you were probably glad that they confiscated a gift that was for another girl lol.

    Wow,your ex-husband seems like a player to me lol.It’s obvious you still have feelings there.

    • Hey Kenny, glad to read your input. 🙂

      I definitely would NOT call my ex a player. It’s been 5 yrs and there’s only been 3 women. He’s a LTR guy. I simply find it irritating that they were all women I knew and /or had to see on a regular basis. As far as feelings go, we spent 10 years together & continue to raise 2 children. There are all kinds of bewildering and contradicting feelings there but none of them include any desire to get back together.

  2. I am SO looking forward to the day that this happens for me. As far as I know, there has been no lady in my ex’s life. I suspect it would make him happier and easier to deal with too – who’s not happier when they’re getting some good, regular adult time? I just hope he has enough sense to pick someone that is good to the kids.

    • Ya, it makes thing easier for me! Lol

  3. You gotta love small towns and the shuffle-a-boyfriend game! Heck, I think that’s half the reason I stay married so well, I see what I would be stuck with next….

    • No kidding… Plenty of fish in the sea? But I live in the desert!

  4. I live in the city but I still look for mutual friends on Facebook when I start dating a guy. With some guys this would be fine but others I would prefer not to bump into. Oh how awful that would be. I am glad you don’t despise her. WIth kids that can really get ugly and very Jerry Springer.

    • Even tho I like her, it is still really uncomfortable… But I’ll get used to it. Uncomfortable won’t kill me.

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