The Dangers of Driving Too Fast

The Ambassador and I were having a discussion the other day about the dangers of moving too fast in relationships, as he and I have both done in the past. He has also expressed to me before how guys can be so incredibly visual, that when he sees a beautiful girl, his first instinct can be as strong as —not just “I want her” but “I would give up everything I have…” (I laughed… honestly, sometimes boys can be so easily distracted — “Hey looook, it’s shiny… me want. Me want!”)

In the past, he’s moved with this first instinct, and before you know it found himself in a whole heap of trouble… Realizing, she’s really not a very nice person.

Today I caught the movie “The Heartbreak Kid” with Ben Still. Not only is it hilarious, but also quite a commentary on how manipulative and misleading people can be— AND the dangers of driving too fast in relationships.

Ben Stiller’s charachter, Eddie, meets a beautiful blonde and spends a few months with her doing all the dating type things in the dating montage… Eddie, of course, is falling madly in love with this girl when all of a sudden she pipes up with some job offer in Holland— and of course the magical solution is that they get married.

Poor poor Eddie… Thinking he has met the perfect woman, he proposes and they get married. Next thing you know, he’s off on this incredibly expensive honeymoon with a woman that is doing nothing but irritate the shit out of him. Then, thinking it’s a light through the clouds, she suggests they stop, get a room and make love… but as it turns out– the sex is sort of insane, and NOT in a good way. That’s just the tip of the iceburg.

Before you know it, Eddie is finding out it’s all a lie. She’s not some oceanic researcher– she’s a volunteer! Not only does she NOT have an income to pay off her some $26,000 in debt (which she just now mentioned) but she also had a prior cocaine addiction and some crazy ass ex-boyfriends.

Oh, boys and girls, it doesn’t stop there. Ooooh no… Turns out Eddie’s perfect woman doesn’t even know his full name, and seems to have the intellect of a 5 year old. Although he warns her to apply sun screen… NOPE, like an irrational child, instead she slathers on the baby oil and gets burned to a crisp— then blames HIM! unnnnnreal.

Oh, the dangers of moving too fast… And of course, it doesn’t end there. As luck would have it, he meets an incredible girl while the wife is holed up, skin fried to a crisp in the honeymoon suite…
Possibly the worst aspect of all of this, which is also seen in the movie, is that the cycle can be addictive…

Now, of course, this was only a movie—- The frustrations humorous to the viewers but if you were actually the one walking in those shoes… It would be nothing less than devastating.

In the past when I am moved too quickly, it seems that in the blink of an eye– I am fully involved and trying to blink away the Jerry Springer situation now in action in front of me. bsorbing all the hurt flung at me.

For The Ambassador, it has been similar but more often he found himself looking at the person thinking “Wow, she’s not very nice, but I’m in it now…. ooook.” Then he finds himself floating in the meanness for whatever reason, until he steels his resolve and walks away. With who knows how much damage incurred in the meantime.

Possibly THE most important thing I’ve learned at this stage in the game is– CHARACHTER. It’s all about charachter. Not only is it crucial to have a partner of good charachter… understanding, and consideration but also strength– because we all have temptations.
So, although things with The Ambassador has moved -painfully- slow… I’m sooo glad for it.

Published in: on February 12, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Great piece. Oh, the texts, e-mails, and calls that come rushing in during those first few days of infatuation. How many times did I think I found the “one” only for weeks, months later to wake up and find….. Better to move slow and steady than to be wind up a bad situation.

    • What I love the most about having moved slow is that we -know- each other fairly well at this point. We have a little history built up over 3/4 of a year, so when we are intimate… It’s real. It’s authentic. It’s not some swept up now, uncomfortable later psuedo intimacy. That’s absolutely the best!

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