Oh Romance, How I’ve Missed You

It struck me today how much I’ve missed romance. In the world of dating, some things are easy to get. You can get sex. You can get dinner, dates, and activities…. but romance? OOoooh, I don’t know… Romance freaks people out, ya know? Hell, if it arrives too fast, it freaks me out too. I think because romance involves feelings, and grows feelings.

I think the last time I experienced romance, I was with Captain Amazing. Now, keep in mind, when I say romance, I don’t mean songs written about me, poetry, or to be serenaded. Even the thought of a man reading poetry to me wiggs me out… **shivers** I guess I just remember my high sweetheart serenading me. It was just awkward, and right in my face. It was kind of awful… authentic and sweet, but awful. lol

No, I’m just a small town girl. When I think about romantic times with Captain Amazing, I think about going out to the gorgeous hippie bathhouse in the woods, and getting locked out in the cold after having run down icy steps to take a naked dip in the stream. That may not seem real romantic to you… to be locked out on a snowy deck in February, naked, shivering, and wet, but I’ll tell you what— I’ll NEVER forget it. It was adventurous and memorable and we were in it together. That MAKES a moment for me. In that moment, minus the panic of being locked out in the nude. I was completely comfortable. I was comfortable in what Captain Amazing and I were feeling together.

That was nearly a year ago now, and even though the romantic relationship thing didn’t work out with The Captain and I — I know I had a sense, even then, that we would be amazing friends for a very very long time.

Later when we spent the weekend together in a gorgeous hotel room in the pines, and I knew our interaction wasn’t “going anywhere”.. We weren’t traveling toward relationship land, but I was content and safe in what he felt for me. There was romance in sitting on the deck in our terry cloth robes, drinking champagne, talking and smoking cigarettes until late in to the night.

As The Captain and I became even more aware that we are simply not a match, we backed off the romantic stuff. I think somewhere deep down, we knew it would bond us closer together but the stupid logical obstacles of life would forever remain.

Still, I didn’t need all the “where is this going” junk for our time together to feel good. I was content, relaxed and happy because I knew how he felt about me. I knew when he kissed me, he meant it.
I had just that same kind of feeling tonight when The Ambassador walked up behind me, and slid his arms around my waist. After the realization… After all the talking, which had seemed like a vessel to send his feelings out in to the universe, I turned and looked up toward him and closed my eyes. In that moment, The Ambassador held me and kissed me with so much feeling I was almost swept away.

Slow dancing in the dark, wrapped in The Ambassador’s arms, I can see that my old friend romance has come home once again…. Hopefully he’ll stay a while longer this time.

Published in: on February 5, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (9)  
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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. *dreamy sigh*

    I hope romance (and the big A) stay a lot longer for you, too šŸ™‚

  2. When you find romance send it my way. As I’ve said to friends, sex is easy, but romance……

  3. My husband brought home chocolate covered strawberries last night! What?? Stop the presses! I was completely shocked. My hubby is a blue collar man, and he doesn’t do the whole flowers and candy thing.. and we’ve lived happily ever after for 16 years, so when he came home and said “I saw these, and knew I had to get them for you” I thought maybe, just maybe, I will get to date again soon! Maybe next he will ask me out for dinner… but I will still live vicariously in Bloggerland…

    • Oh that’s rad, Blondie! Congrats!

      I saw the funniest valentines dat card the other day.. It talked about waiting til after bed time then sneaking off to the bathroom to be alone, crack open a bottle of wine & try to make love without waking the kids! Ha! Now that’s romance!

      • yeah, I tried that once, then my preteen son and teenage daughter gave my in-laws a play-by-play reenactment at dinner the next day. Looks like we need some sound proofing in this Casa! šŸ™‚

      • OH, wow.. that’s terrible and hilarious all in one!

      • at least we did not give them a visual to go with the audio…. that’s my saving grace on that one!

  4. […] a young girl with a head filled with notions of romance, teddy bears and roses.Ā I do still want romance in my life. I’ll go out on a limb here and say most of us […]

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