Seeking INSTANT Relationship, Please Apply With In

How do ya like my new motto?

My match profile has gathered some interesting charachters over the last couple of days.

I find it odd that it seems to be recruiting men who seem to have a hole in their life and seek to fill it with an attractive creature of the oposite sex… possibly ANY attractive creature of the oposite sex.

All the “going slow” stuff over the last few months was good for me in some ways. It reminded me how fulfilling it is to really know someone.

The men that have been emailing me from match seem to have forgotten that. They are coming on too strong and too fast. That gives a girl the feeling that he is not so much infatuated with HER, as he is with the idea of having a woman in his life.

First there was the older man who lives 150 miles away. We’ll call him The Walker… because it seemed like every time he messaged me, he had just returned from walking his dogs.

The stupid instant messaging isn’t working, so The Walker wants to start text messaging right away. I mulled it over and figured if I met him in a supermarket or something I’d hand out my phone number… so I gave it to him.

He instantly started texting me and saying things like “I wish you were here” and “You’re so cute. We’d make a great couple.”

I found myself just staring at the phone in shock and confusion. How does one reply to that? He’s never met me, or seen me in person. He doesn’t even know me.

Maybe he’s reading Social Kenny’s blog and trying to go as fast as he possibly can.

I love what Kenny had to say in this post, but you have to move at atleast an appropriate speed, otherwise it comes off like it doesn’t matter who is on the other end of the flirtation. Like “I’m not special.. I just happened to be the only one in front of him at the moment.”

I don’t know what The Walker was thinking, but when I piped up about it, he disappeared. Hey… fine with me.

Next there was the Leo in San Jose, also a much older man. He’s doing the same damn thing! Says his life is perfect, but missing a good woman. Saying things like “I can’t stop thinking about you.” We have never even talked on the phone! You don’t KNOW me.

He also said something about me having two great kids. How the hell does he know? My kids could be screaming mee-mees, or VERY difficult high needs children. They aren’t. They are phenominal humans, but he doesn’t know that.

Plus… a word of advice here guys… don’t express too much interest in a woman’s children, it’s creepy.

The only difference between this guy and The Walker is that when I mentioned the speed at which he was traveling to The Leo, he ratcheted it down, and kept emailing.

I get that people want to move fast. Believe me, I want what I want, and I want it now too— but I want a man, a partner, a substantial person– not just a stand in that I don’t know anything about.

Now that’s not all I’ve been running in to. I did talk on the phone with one guy, who is closer to my age and doesn’t seem to be seeking instant relationship gratification. He’s SO different though. He wasn’t funny, light hearted, and flirtatious like I am. He wasn’t engaging.

I don’t know that we have anything in common really. He has no military background or anything– The conversation just really didn’t flow.

I’m shuttin’ down the match profile too. I’m so burnt out on the online thing.

There is one guy I’m talking to and having a great time with…. I sort of came by him by chance… or by luck or by fate.

At this point, I think he’s got an idea of who I am and seems to actually know what he is doing.

He gets me giggling, and the conversation is good… When we first talked on the phone, I felt like I was chatting up an old friend.

Great looking, charismatic and chalk full of charm. Of course, as luck would have it, he’s crazy far away.

You know what though? At this point I’m having too much fun to care! So, I’ll keep talking to Mr. Charisma and living my life. We’ll see what the universe sends my way.


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12 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I don’t think that would be classified as the “delicate tendrils of neediness” that I referred to before. More like the “random harpoon of desperation”. Like trying to avoid being hugged by someone made of fresh flypaper…
    If it makes you feel any better, I’m apparently quite a stellar job being the “crazychick magnet” I was dubbed recently… so you aren’t the only one going “wth??”

    • Thank God I’m fairly adept at dodging said harpoons!

  2. Its so funny, I love reading Social Kenny and you too, and yet I haven’t dated in 16 years! Guess I am living vicariously… LOL

    • I think it’s intruiging the way the SMP hs changed over the years. I don’t think it has changed for the better but still interesting. A little like watching a car crash.. It’s terrible but you can’t take ur eyes off of it! Lol

  3. I met my husband on match. We chatted online, wrote letters, and built up to talking on the phone. It took me 6 months to give him my address and phone number. IN that time, typing back and forth and writing letters really helped us to get to know each other without all the other stuff that usually gets in the way because he was in Alaska and I was in the “lower 48”. When we finally met in person the sparks were flying because of all the anticipation in waiting. We were engaged three day later and married 6 months after that. I think you are smart to want to get to know the guy before jumping in with both feet, but eventually you need to jump or walk away.

    • WoW! That’s one hell of a story you’ve got there! Thanks for posting! Welcome!

  4. I nominated you for two awards because I really enjoy your blog and appreciate you sharing your experiences. You can find the rules to accepting the awards here


    • You are so fantastic… Thank you. I love your stuff too!

  5. I recommend that you get a Google Voice number and give that out, not your real phone number. That way you can always give it up and change it if people get creepy or weird.

  6. I nominated you for an award; you’ll find the rules here:


    • Thank you, Lady.. Wow.. This shit IS bananas!

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