Thank You Distraction

At this point I’m getting tons of hugs and kisses. I’m getting so much talking I could bang my head against the wall, but at this point I need action. I need to see effort toward closeness versus all energy working at holding back.

I have decided I need to get busy, get distracted and let him be. I supposed if this doesn’t turn the tables, I don’t know what will. It’s like we are doing the cha-cha.. I take a couple steps back, and he comes forward. He steps back, I come forward… I don’t like this dance. I want to be able to be me, and get closer without him being so damned skittish!

No more.. I am going to just go live my life and see what he does.

Yesterday I got a text from a friend of mine. He also happens to be the Pastor at the church I go to. He wanted to let me know the church was doing pizza and roller skating with a giant crowd of some 80 people from our tiny sad town. It sounded like a blast. I’m a wanna-be roller derby babe.

I recruited The Sultry School teacher and we loaded all our little peeps in her minivan limo and we were off to the city.

The Ambassador got off work and texted me. After like one minute with no reply, he called. I just happened to have the phone in my hand at the time. I took it as a sign and picked up the call. Of course the roller rink was rockin’ and the sounds came through on his end of the phone.

“Where are you??” he asked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I sassed.

He repeated my words in disbelief “Yes I would like to know. Unless you’re all Phill’s, then I don’t want to know.”

“Who the hell is Phill?”

“Phill, or Mike, or Dave, or Rob… ”

I laughed “I’m with the church people, at the roller rink in the city. It’s pizza and roller skating night. There’s like 80 people here from our town!”

“Do you have the kids with you?” OH, that one didn’t get past me. It was another quiz designed to help him decifer whether or not I was out hunting.

“Ya! I have the kids and The School Teacher and her kids. I got my whole posse with me.”

Haha… Thank you distraction. You don’t like it, Mr. Ambassador? You wonder? How bout you lock this shit down?

I mothered him a bit… asking if he had plenty of NyQuill and tylenol or whatever else.

Later in the night, of course, he texted me. “Good night. Thanks for taking care of me.”

I didn’t really even do anything. I was an hour’s drive away… but whatever. It was nice.

Back to business and distraction. I finally painted that bathroom.

Next I brought my kiddos out to bowl at the bowling lanes in town. I’m a horrific bowler, and even with the bumpers up I didn’t break 100 on our first game. Still, my babies had a blast, and I was turning heads. There was one guy in particular I was eyeing… Broad shoulders and enormous hands. Not freakishly enormous, just big enough for me to notice. That may be the first time I’ve checked out a dude and just looking at his –hands– made me hot.

The best thing– He had the most incredible face. More childlike than chiseled, with big brown eyes framed by wavy brown hair.

Of course, who knows… He could be some kind of angry monster or a drunk or whatever. I don’t know a thing about him, but it was nice to wonder… and leer.

I played with my kids and basked in the glow of validation. I thought about The Sultry School Teacher’s dream that we started a league team and get shirts emblazoned with “The Pink Ladies”. (Ya, that’s right… we’re awesome like that. lol)

After looking around, I judged the crowd to be the most single attractive men in our age group I’d seen anywhere in town.

I have given The Ambassador one last hail mary… Sooo tired of the hot and cold act. If he can’t show me something– some kind of appreciation, validation and/or involvement, I guess I’m off to The Pink Ladies.

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Published in: on January 21, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (9)  
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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Distraction is good .. let’s hope he notices the absence of you and it makes him think .. I know they say men like to chase but some men just don’t even seem to notice if the woman backs off to let them chase (I have dated that guy before lol – makes the whole “wtf?” thing so much harder to decipher) ..

    • Oh, he’ll notice. He always notices. Whether or not he actually does something about it is a whole nother question.

  2. Men are not all that hard to figure out…we’re actually somewhat predictable. Of course, I say that not having ever pursued after one… just as one of those “simple” creatures. I think that it might be a matter of trusting one’s instinct – if he is lukewarm, then force him to either figure out whatever issues he may have or move on with a quickness. I never really understood why people tolerate anything less than passion, but then again, having been *that* guy, I can honestly say that perhaps I should have trusted my own instincts about the situation and been honest about the “why”…
    Hindsight is always Hubble-like, though.

    • Hello Columbus! I believe this is your first comment on my sassy blog. Glad you found me!

      In general I would agree, but we are all unique and different beings… some simpler than others, no matter what the gender.

      • Thanks for the welcome, and such enjoyable views…

        In dwelling on my comment of being one of the “simple creatures”, I have to correct myself – especially in light of the comment lifeinthefarcelane (may I abbreviate you to LITFL?). While I immediately agreed with the approach of “feed them, shag them, and don’t nag at them”, I think “And for the love of Bob, don’t EVER get sideways on them” would be almost an appropriate addition. We (specifically, I) are *usually* simple, right up to the point where one of the fairer sex usually breaks traction and starts steering out of the side windows. Then, much like the driving analogy is inevitably headed, everything becomes a tornado of mathematical gibberish concerning variables that defy the space and time allocated here. …Besides, that’s not the point. Traction in a relationship gets broken and all parties begin to panic… unless one or both are well practiced in diffusing the situation as quickly and amicably as possible. “Throttle or brake… how much of both? Getting off the road…steer into the turn, but don’t oversteer…” If you’ve ever watched rally races or good ol’ dirt track races, you know that much like any motorsports, the crashes are phenomenal and often disastrous…Same goes for relationships. Personally, I have either wrecked in a manner worthy of the opening scene to “Wild World Of Sports”, stalled mid-track thinking I was still going, or gone so far off the track that I think I’ve made my own course (the only way I can explain the most recent one).
        (Did I hijack your reply portion? Well, it was fun…)
        The point being, for both folks concerned, all it takes, really, is some patience, understanding, and a bit of good old fashioned fearlessness…

      • I love this reply.. Very much like racin’ on a dirt track. I have also crashed phenominally AND stalled on the track, thinking I was going.

        Your last paragraph was my favorite… All it really takes is patience, understanding & a bit of fearlessness. It’s true & I find that sometimes, with all the details to get distracted by, I have to remind myself… That’s all it really takes.

      • Glad you liked it… I got a good laugh from it – it was exactly what had been on my mind, but never had a reason to make it concrete… Amazing what clarity writing can provide…

  3. SOME men are simple creatures, others less so. I used to think men were very simple. And my philosophy was to “Feed them, shag them, don’t nag at them” that generally meant they were happier than a pig in muck.

    Now I dunno about you Cadence .. but (and I can feel a rant post coming on!) the older the man the better he is at confusing us ..

    My take is it’s cos he’s been thru the hoops a time or two (or 3 or 4) and is a bit more protective …

    And protection can seem like game playing or acting “luke warm” or whatever you wanna call it..

    I’ve been accused of that before when all I was doing was trying to be cautious and protect my emotions..

    That said, til he shags you soundly instead of just groping your arse, I’m gonna think he’s a jerk.. (looking fwd to changing my mind SOON!) *grins*

    • Excellent point– I too have been accused of such things, and rightly so… In fact, I wasn’t even aware I was doing it at the time.

      Guess we’ll see what he does with this new twist.


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