No Texts, No Calls, No Nada

How do I go from being so sure this is where I want to be (in with The Ambassador) to feeling like “Shit! Maybe this isn’t what I want?”

Well, I sent him some texts this morning.. A “good morning” and a “Let’s hang out tonight. Miss ur face!” with no response. With all the advanced forms of technology (which he seems to see as a distraction) and not a word from him.

I just don’t understand. We are on this whole thing consistantly communicating and stuff… Then bam.. nothing. Last time he did this, he went off with The Sneaky Bitch.

I tried to call and it rang and rang and went to voicemail. Well, I’m done. 3 strikes rule. If I try to contact a man 3 times with no response, you’re out. Ball’s in your court, Champ. Step up or step off.

More than that… I need to communicate this. I keep saying “We teach people how to treat us” (stolen from Dr. Phil) and I believe it to my core. I do not intend to make the same bullshit mistakes I made with The Collector. SO… have a fit?

I’m probably just obsessing again but then again, if The Ambassador were feeling so insecure about where he stands with me… I’d feel some responsiblity to help resolve that. Wouldn’t you? It’s part of what we do. It’s what we should do. We let our partners know how we feel so he or she can feel safe and secure in the relationship. I shouldn’t have to feel like a starving person waiting for him to throw me a crumb… a tiny clue of how he feels.

Next, as I was checking my email I came across “Kiss Me Daily” and of course, I see pictures of kisses, kisses and more kisses. That’s the kind of passion and intimacy I want. A man who can’t keep his hands off me. A man who longs to press his lips to mine. A man who sees me for the amazing woman that I am and isn’t too shy or too scared to tell me about it. A man who knows how unique, rare, and incredible mad chemistry is and wouldn’t dare risk losing it or letting it go.

Thus far, I have gotten basicly ONE kiss. ONE. Not even a long lasivious kiss, and I had to be the one to initiate it.

Why? Why does it have to start so slow? I’m begining to think this going slow bullshit is just an excuse to keep me at arms length. Is it some kind of ploy to string me along because it’s always feels good to have someone who wants you, even if you don’t want them?

Problem is, I don’t really believe that people are that calculating and cruel. If that’s the case, I’m sure The Ambassador of Ambiguity, who is SO aptly named, is not doing it intentionally.

I’m scared I’m pursuing something that maybe isn’t what I really want. The most important thing to me in a romantic relationship is emotional /verbal intimacy, and second physical closeness. If we don’t have it now, who’s to say it will ever be there? Can’t a girl get more than one “Hey Doll Face” in seven months?!!

Mr. Cool (see previous posts like Meeting Mr. Cool) is italian… He’s very italian. He kissed me at the end of our first fabulous date. He knew what he wanted. Then, he went on and on about how incredible it was. For days I got luxurious, complimentary, romantic emails about how my lips felt and the fireworks that went off for him when he touched me. How he couldn’t wait to feel my kiss again.

Neither of us were really trying to go anywhere quickly… But we were reveling in what we felt in that moment. It was natural and intoxicating. I get none of that with The Ambassador.

Although it didn’t work out with Mr. Cool, I felt more and I got more from him in the few dates we had than I have heard out of The Ambassador in the 7 months I have known him. WHY am I pursuing this?

I know myself very well, and I know I need a lot of attention. I won’t apologize for it. I want to adore and be adored. I do believe romantic relationships need tension, but this may very well break me.

I’m tired of not knowing where I stand. I’m tired of not knowing if he values what we have. I want some confirmation, and of course (like always) I want it now.

Hours later… the word “withholding” popped in to my head. I feel like he’s withholding his feelings and physical affection. Do I really want to be with someone who does that? So, does that mean he’ll do it later in the relationship when he’s upset or feeling disconnected for some reason? That would just destroy me.

And even further… Shall I get in to a relationship with another man that I have to PRY information out of? I think NOT.

Published in: on January 10, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (13)  
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13 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I hear you loud and clear, Cadence. It’s hard to see a future with a man who is afraid to share himself. Maybe he’s not ready. I’m a big fan of being direct. Ask him what he wants out of his life right now. Ask him if he’s ready. Tell him what you need. If the two viewpoints are incompatible, perhaps this is the wrong time.

    I tend to think at light speed, as well, and I firmly believe that most men I know are incapable of keeping up with my analyses and thought processes. It’s not that men are stupid; they just may not be wired the same way, for the most part.

    However, if he is not meeting your needs, and you know that life is short, he may not be the one for you. If you are patient and willing to wait, invest time, then go for it. I think that communication is critical, though.

    • So glad you’re sill reading! I’m with you about being direct but communication can be scary for me at times butl, I am growing as a person and don’t intend to stop 😉

  2. Yes, it’s all about your needs. Just be honest and you might – gasp – get what you actually want! If not, you have your answer and you can clear all the psychic space that he is taking up for someone else.

    • Ya, as psychic space goes.. He’s eating my lunch!

      • It shouldn’t be so much dang work! The beginning of things should be all fun, and sexy times and you’re beautifuls and let me text you nonstop. I feel like he is playing a game. Maybe not intentionally, but it is a game. And as soon as you pull back he will pursue. Wash, rinse, repeat.

  3. Could it be he’s a terminal game player but you’re kinda into him so you don’t see those giveaway signs most days?

    I really don’t want to like this post because.. well, I hate this post, I hate how you feel. I’ve felt it before and am sorry you’re going thru it, it’s shiddy.

    As far as I’m concerned: NO one in this day and age can be out of technology’s reach .. or more to the point, if they want to, they will find a way to get to it. .

    Keep us posted, be brave .. Cos my guess is he’ll have a good reason and you’ll forgive him and all will go back to being “normal” 🙂

    • I agree with you about the technology thing, and I’ll go even further to say.. If it was important to him.. if -I- was important to him, he’d reach out.

      The thing is… I am convinced something is going on in his head and he’s not sharing. That’s much more troublesome to me than the lack of contact.

  4. I’d talk to him about it and if it doesn’t change, then I’d let him go. I ignored early signs in my last relationship and then 3 years later, I think, “If only I had paid attention one month into the relationship, we never would have kept this going.” Seven months is plenty of time. Everybody wants a person who can’t wait to see them and kiss them and be close to them. If he’s not there after 7 months and you can’t work this out with communication, I think it’s time to pass him up and move on to the next man.

    • @emarie– Yes.. I am getting better at seeing the red flags.. Now I see them but I find myself sometimes in denial.
      @reluctant agree, agree, agree! & yes, he will pursue if I back up. He’s done it before & I am not a fan of those games. Booooo!

  5. I don’t think I need to chime in here girl. You already know what I think. *eyes you up and down* lol.

    • yes – you’ve been quite clear 🙂

  6. If he makes you wait…

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