Is “Going Slow” the Key?

let's make it last

We stood in front of the fireplace holding hands. The dry warmth rolled over our bodies and we talked and looked in to each others eyes.

He was trying to explain WHY he wants to go so horribly slow… He said many things I’ve have heard him say before. The line that stood out the most for me was “I’m tired of people being seasons in my life.” The Ambassador is absolutely convinced that going slow is the key to making a relationship last. Maybe that’s just what resonates with him. Maybe it’s what his heart needs.

I loved this line… LOVED it. What a terrific description. I don’t know how much difference going sloooooooooooooow is going to make. I mean, if it’s not going to work, then it’s not going to work.
I told him that too. I told him I believe you can miss a window with someone very easily. I told him, at some point, if you’re still not feeling it then you never will.. and last I said I can hang for a while.

I want him to lead us, but beware because I’m struggling with it and I don’t want to get to a place where my feelings shut off. I don’t know when that will be, but eventually once I’ve been so incredibly frustrated (this push pull bullshit is killing me) time and time again… It WILL shut off… in an instant.

What do you think readers? Is taking it slooooooow (not just physically but emotionally as well– not letting the person in) only delaying the inevitable (whatever that may be)? OR is it the key to making a relationship last?

Published in: on January 8, 2012 at 9:00 am  Comments (9)  
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  1. I think if you at least KNOW about it then you can wedge the brakes on emotionally and enjoy the slow ride (without worrying that he’s not into you!)

    So I would be inclined to SUGGEST to your sexy ambassador that he just needs to reassure you now and then he’s slow not disinterested?

    • ya.. I have suggested. It got a little better, then right back to how it was. Thing is.. This “going slow” bs is just another way for him to keep me at arms length. I hate that!

  2. I think you’re a pretty amazing person for being so generous and understanding of his feelings. “Maybe it’s what his heart needs” is so full of compassion, The Ambassador is lucky to have you 🙂

    That said, I do also agree with you, that windows of opportunity can close. If someone is desiring of physical intimacy and it’s not happening, eventually the eye is going to wander, and the heart is going to shift someone into “the friend zone.”

    They guy obviously has some things going on that demand this pace and I think it’s great that you’re willing to give him the time, but make sure your wants and needs are part of the equation as well– there are two people in this relationship! 🙂

    • Any suggestions as to how I do that?

      • *unbuttons yer top*

        Oh, wait, that only works on ME. Lol.

      • Good question! It’s a little hard for me to relate to him since wanting to go slower than the woman is not something I’ve ever experienced 😉

        I’d say communication has to be the key, make sure that he realizes you’ve got valid needs and wants too. There should be a happy median that can be found if he’s not totally self-absorbed.

      • LOL, dannyfrom504 I think that works for most guys 😉

  3. Hmmmm…. this reminds me of the classic fable where the turtle won the race… may be worth the long slow stroll to get the trophy… of course, there are always other options, but I’d run, I mean walk, through this race first and just see what happens…

    • Slow and steady wins the race… I need more steady with my slow.

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