Oh Barf!

I am in such a foul mood today! Turns out I am having some lovely withdrawal symptoms courtesy of my nearly cold turkey kicking of Pristiq. Nice….

Here I was thinking I was just thawing out from the watered down version of me and then I read about withdrawal symptoms like being overly emotional, irritable, having crying spells, and trouble concentrating. The last two are especially exciting at work. (I work in a 911 call center!)

At this very moment every love song that comes on the radio elicits an audible “oh barf!” from me… not to mention growls and grinding teeth.

I wreaked havoc on my ex-husband this morning thanks to these symptoms. Making the symptoms work for me! He sent me a hella rude text which immediately dialed my launch sequence. I took a deep breath and resisisted putting him on FULL blast then told him to go to hell. Of course he can’t let it stop there as he thinks he’s big and bad, plus he’s one miserable son of a bitch just jonesing to spew his poison on to anyone near by. (–And cops wonder why people don’t like them. ha!)

He complained about everything under the sun. He tried to steal the kids away on Thanksgiving even though he already gets Christmas because I am working. I was seriously trying to maintain but everything in me was like “Screw this bullshit! That’s why I divorced l his ass. He doesn’t get to STILL be emotionally abusive.”

I snap some things out and even called him a heartless bully. He, of course, stated that he is not. Uh huh… For a half a second, after I realized I’m having these withdrawal symptoms, I felt bad. Resorting to name calling is not usually my style but I am tired of being stomped on.

THIS is why I try to avoid dating Alphas at all costs. Sorry to all you guys that read my blog… seriously, much love. I enjoy the dialog we have and your writings but in my relationship experience Alpha= Asshole.

Truth is, I wonder if this little extra growl I’ve got goin’ on right now isn’t kinda good for me. (Not good for my ex, but good for me). I think I can seriously be too nice, and put up with too much shit. As long as I keep a handle on it, and take a breath before I respond to pretty much anything, we’ll be ok. ha!

“I am truly one of the nicest people you will ever meet, and I come complete with smiles which I dish out at an alarmingly accelerated rate. However, I can turn psycho bitch in under 3 seconds when I am hassled unnecessarily.” –Sparklebumps The Book Whore

Hope it doesn’t jack up my weekend off Mommy duty coming up… Wednesday. I had originally told The Ambassador about it. He was like “OH, we have to do something!”

Then it became, “maybe, what time?”

Maybe? What do you mean maybe?

Then “let me see how early I have to get up the next day and I’ll get back to you.”

All I could think was “Whatever dude. We’re 35 not 85!”– I did not reply. Grrrrrrr.

These withdrawal symptoms have changed the way I feel about the situation with The Ambassador too. Instead of feeling anxious and trying to figure out what he’s thinking.. I just feel exasperated with dash of anger. I feel like I’m gettin’ jerked around.

I called Captain Amazing and told him I wanted to drive to the city and see him and Ms. Perfect. He immediately started putting ideas together… He even said “Don’t invite The Ambassador. We will find someone for you.”

Sweet offer, but I already told him. I’m even feeling SO optimistic, I’m gonna say—- What do you want to bet he bails?????

Published in: on December 28, 2011 at 9:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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