I Guess We’re Going To Have That Talk

After all the frustration from the other night, I finally spilled my guts to Captain Amazing. I told him it has taken me so long to figure out what I am looking for and then to actually find it. See, it’s not about who he is so much.. or logical things one can explain. I’ve now narrowed it down to two things 1. Crazy Sexy Chemistry and 2. No giant deal breakers. Seems simple right.

Now, I have The Ambassador of Ambiguity standing right in front of me waffling, or whatever he’s doing. NO bueno dude.

Captain Amazing’s stellar advice was to have a talk, but to just tell him how I feel in a way that won’t scare him off. Don’t put him on the spot, just let him know how you feel.

I had been debating whether or not to become more physically aggressive. That’s a pickle for me, because I don’t want to be the dude in the relationship– and I don’t want him to participate just because there’s naughty right in front of his face.

I asked Captain Amazing if he thought that was really the way to go… with words instead of action. He replied “Do you write a fantastic blog? Are you all about words? YES, you need to say the words.”

Damn it, I know he’s right.

In short, I want him to want me. That however, I can’t control. I suppose all I can do is let my own feelings be known.

Next I mulled it over, marinated in it and tried to decide what exactly to say. I talked to The Stalkerish Ex-boyfriend, who is truly a very close friend of mine. (We’re fine as long as we don’t cross in to that sex or relationship area.) He’s an Alpha, so of course he suggests I confront him and basicly give him an ultimatum. NOT a good idea. He did, however, offer some nice phrases I may be able to use. “We’ve been doing this dance for some time.”

I feel like I’ve been waiting for the right time, but even that is drivin’ me nuts. What it comes down to is “I don’t want to just be your gal pal. I want to be with you.” That’s about all I’ve got at this point –two lines that I have found usable. I need more, otherwise I’ll fumble and say something stupid. Ugh! (Stomping, shadow boxing and swearing ensues)

Then I was thinking… He has said to me before “I missed you. I’m so glad you’re back in my life.” –If that comes up again I could head in with “You missed me, huh? (Step into his space, look him straight in the eyes) How much?” and/ or “I missed you too… I didn’t think you would come back in to my life, and here you are. I don’t want to waste anymore time.. I don’t want to just be your gal pal. I want to be with you.”

There are other lines floating around in my head… like, if he brought up relocating for work, I’d say “Thats good. Plan for tomorrow, but LIVE for today.”

The next part is the really scary part. Does he respond? What does he say? Is there an awkward silence? Does he get scared and skittish? If he does, then I suppose he’s not the type I want around. 😦

In my visualization, it’s at that point that I want to run out of there and not even find out if or what he has to say… That’s the bad visualization. The good one includes steamy kisses and the very rapid removal of clothing… Not to mention a bunch of other very dirty dirty things that I won’t mention here. (sorry boys and girls!)

So, now I’ve decided and everything— I thought I’d see him today since he’s off work but I called him and he’s not home. Hmmm… now I am just at home stewing. boooooo!

Published in: on December 25, 2011 at 9:00 am  Comments (9)  
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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. The Ambassador of Ambiguity, may I steal that line?? 😉

    Good luck – let us know how it goes!!

    • It’s been the perfect moniker for him.. Glad you like it.. Use it if you wish 🙂

  2. Stop stewing, it only leads to over-thinking! Just hurry up and have this talk, because your blog is like a great sitcom…. with a to-be-continued episode that has you hanging off a cliff!

    • Haaaaa!!! I HATE that feeling.. But that is also what it feels like to me! Have to admit, I’m scared to make the wrong move in this exciting, frustrating & infuriating chess game.

  3. When playing chess too often a chess player will see a decent move and jump quickly to make it..What is often overlooked is making the best move possible.

    Chess is a game that requires a well thought out plan and strategy if you want to win on a consistent basis.

    And love is way fucking harder. Take your time 🙂

  4. You’re my heaps younger me, it’s my pleasure 🙂

  5. lord and I thought us guys had it tough trying to find the right woman, seems you ladies have it just as bad….yup same boat different section and no one wants to switch teams lol

    • Haaa! That was a very clever response… Ya got a giggle out of me 😉

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