A Single Mom’s December

I have to rage a little bit here. It is December and for a single Mom (like me anyway) that means scraping together every penny to pay for your heating… keeping your kids warm, while also trying to keep them fed AND praying I’ll be able to give them maybe one or two items off their list for Santa.

It’s not the funnest time of year. I do everything I can to make it wonderous… put up my decorations and dole out the hot chocolate with special snow man shaped marshmallows. I even managed to take my kiddos to breakfast with Santa because it was only $3 per person. BUT, the financial stresses are almost more than I can bear.

I have a decent job and if I manage things well, I’m able to pay my mortgage and other bills, plus other necessities and a modest $5 a week allowance for the kids so they can learn the value of money. (AND when they get the “gimme’s” I do not have to miserably try to explain my precarious financial position to a 7 yr old. I simply say “Well, save your allowance!”)

This December has proven to be a rather brutal month though. Last month I cleaned out my measly savings account going out-of-state to see my family and photograph a cousin’s wedding.

This month, I once again had to buy firewood because I have to admit, I do NOT know the most efficient way to burn it. (I’m learning) I’ve never had to deal with wood heat on my own. As a kid, my parents took care of it and when I was married my ex was always the one that played with fire. SO, I have just been burning it all willy nilly and zipped right through half the cord I bought already. Damn it! I knew what I had wouldn’t last me the rest of the month, so I bought some more. Grrrr. There’s goes a couple hundred bucks.

Next, my lovely little puppy has decided that he will make every effort to dig up his super human power to find any clothing I value that has been left unsecured —and chew it to death— especially my panties. Damn dirty dog! So, off I go to Victoria’s Secret I go.

When I am there I discover I’ve been wearing the completely wrong size bra. WAY too small! It certainly made my day to realize I’m an entire cup size bigger than I thought, and then reality set it.

I have ZERO bras the correct size, and I am now positive that the too small torture devices I’ve been wearing are the cause of some nearly disabling back pain I had last week. Fuck! I have to buy at least one or two, and those bitches aren’t cheap.

Dropped another $100 and some bucks in Victoria’s Secret… I knew it was gonna hurt my pocket-book but a girl needs underwear!

This month, finance wise, has been truly ridiculous. I mean, I even bought a few things and had to return them on more than one occasion. Can I just say… a one income household.. such a bitch!

I have resigned my self to making gifts for my Dazzling Divorcees… and making cards too. Luckily, I’m quite crafty and trained in layout and Graphic Design so the stuff won’t look like something made in a first grade classroom.

Then this morning as I am helping my precious kiddos get dressed, what should happen but I find my son has grown out of his jeans. Son of a bitch!

I just bought him a few pair in the bigger size which have migrated to his Father’s house. See, his Dad thinks it’s all right and good to raise hell if our children get sent over in any piece of clothing that is not in perfect condition and proper fit… then send them back to me in any ill-fitting clothing he can find. See, works out great for Dad because then I end up buying all the new clothes. Pisses me off. (buuuut, my children need clothing so I do it)

The Little Man pulls off the jeans and we manage to find a pair that fits… but this experience has his my overwhelm button and nearly brought me to tears wondering –HOW AM I GOING TO GET THIS KID SOME PANTS THAT FIT? Hopefully he’s got a few to hold him over til January.

I then go to drop off my babes at their Dad’s and he finally hands over his measly $241 child support check 12 days late. I look down only to see he has written “eternal punishment” in the memo space on the check. What a greedy son of a bitch. Really???

I know men who work the same kind of job and pay ten times what he pays! It’s fine that it’s not much but can ya not be a fucking asshole about it??!!! This man constantly proves to me that I did the right thing in leaving him.

Even though the stress is just about to break me… I thank God I’m on my own. I thank God that whatever decisions I make, good or bad with my finances and my bills.. They are MINE and I don’t have to EXPLAIN to anyone. There is no man there being an asshole and making things worse.

So, I’m sitting at my desk pouring over my finances wracking my brain for a solution to make ends meet this month when finally I remember seeing a shiny little glare from my panty drawer this morning. I now realize, it’s our wedding rings.

That’s it! I’m selling the divorce rings! Not only will it get me through Christmas but I’m sure it will prove quite satisfying to sever yet another tie to that greedy bullying SOB.

Merry Frickin’ Christmas! Ha ha!!

Published in: on December 12, 2011 at 5:39 pm  Comments (11)  
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11 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Dearest single, frustrated, wonderful, amazing , pissed-off, tired, needs a pedicure, Christmas mom…

    Just think back when you were a kid…you didn’t have to have a lot of stuff…you had to have love. I was the poorest kid I knew when I was small…it is the motivation that brought me where I am today… i was thankful for the little things. My grandmother raised me and just having her cook me a home based meal and not take me to fast food or the awful “cafeteria with old-people food” was a treat…making popcorn and stringing it up and tinsel and simply being able to sing next to that scrawny little tree…I don’t remember one present that I got back then, but I remember my grandmother and how hard i made life on her. Maybe that’s the thing to keep in mind…be that amazing mom who participates so fully that the fact that your a-hole ex doesn’t deserve the memories that make your days with the kids any part of their life. You should copy each and every check that has something snide like that remark on it to make sure they know it was with your hard work and effort that they made it through…all while fighting their father for something he should want to do…

    Amazing woman….have a terrific Christmas… and just breathe…relax…other people are reading your story…admiring you for your great dedication to purpose…


    • Thanks a zillion T… Still selling the divorce rings though! 😉

  2. Cadence, you are an amazing woman. I admire you. T. is right. Kids really don’t *need* what we think they need. They need love, a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, the opportunity to learn, a feeling of safety and security, and a chance to explore creativity and express their imaginations. I think you have all of that in spades.

  3. My kiddos def have all they need… It’s only my burning desire, because I love them so, to give them a small gift that would make their faces light up. We will have a wonderful Christmas. I’ll get things worked out in their proper priority, but this blog was a goood vent.

  4. My advice… the used kids clothing store… its now where the satellite store used to be on Chestnut! Good prices for growing kids. I get all my boys’ jeans there 🙂 And BTW… wanted to slap your ex for the “eternal punishment” jab. Annoying and unnecessary.

    • thank you totally awesome writer friend- for the advice but I never get down to your neck of the woods these days. It’ll all come together tho 🙂

  5. I can feel that, even though I’m a guy and I don’t wear a bra. This Christmas was so grotesquely overrated. A huge disappointment.

    • Sorry to hear your holiday was such a bummer. Glad ur readin’ the blog tho 😀

  6. Hey doll I just nominated you for the Liebster award – hope ya don’t mind 🙂


    • of course I don’t mind– I’m thrilled!! Thank u

  7. […] I find that I’ve got so much to worry about these days… with the winter weather, and holidays coming and all.  It’s a lot for a single Mom to manage.  Remember last year?  https://search4asoulmate.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/a-single-moms-december/ […]

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