Cancun, Acapulco and Other Such Nonsense

What is it with guys dangling tropical vacations in front of my face? Once I was with The Collector talking about bikinis, when he leaned in kissing my shoulder and my neck and said “maybe I should take you to Cancun…”

Come on guys, be different from the rest... The tropics are waiting for us!

I’m sure I don’t have the most ideal reaction to this type of comment. “uhhh, I guess I could let you take me to Cancun,” I replied. It’s such a bizarre remark in my mind, especially coming from The Collector.  I actually did go on a trip with him and he expected me to pay my half. Ha! No way I can afford a fucking trip to Cancun. Plus, doesn’t the phrase “take you” imply that he would pay? Not to mention he’s an engineer with a Master’s Degree and probably makes way more than I do with no kids, no mortgage…  you get the picture.  Ha!  This guy was counting the quarters people used for showers last time we went camping and his buddies were there.  I don’t see him footing the bill for a Mexican siesta. 

So now I have been talking to The Pilot Lawyer. He’s an attorney who lives a good 4 hours away from me. He has a pilot’s license and his own plane. He flies all over California seeing clients regarding American’s with Disabilities act.

We were texting last week and pretty much out of the blue he asks me “Have you ever been to Acapulco?” Then he started asking me if I have vacation days and whether or not I could get child care.

I have not even met this guy in person yet! I have no intention of flying off to Mexico with him. So, then he goes about trying to set up a face to face meet. STILL, I have no intention of flying off into the sunset with someone I’ve only met once!

What if we don’t mesh? Can you imagine being on a trip like that with someone you don’t mesh with? What a fucking nightmare! Even if we do mesh, I DON’T know him! That would be like being trapped in the awkward morning after a drunken one night stand. TRAPPED, and you can’t get away. Fuuuuck that!

Believe me, I have fantasies of warm ocean waters, and drinks with little umbrellas in them but I’ll go when the situations right… otherwise, it could very well turn in to painful misery.

AND we haven’t even discussed the personal safety issues. Helloooo, Natalie Holloway! I don’t need some smart ass rich boy making me disappear. Nope, no thank you!

Now, I am an educated, accomplished woman, AND I work in Law Enforcement. Why on earth would I do something that risky, so downright stupid?

SO, why.. what is it, guys, about dangling the tropical vacation? Is this some kind of bizarre foreplay technique I have not been informed of? Should I get wet and swept away with emotion at even the hint of palm trees and white sandy beaches?

These two circumstances aren’t the only ones that have ever come up for me in dating either… One time the stalkerish ex-boyfriend said something like “too bad you broke up with me because I just bought tickets to Hawaii”. I’m sure that was a raging lie. I certainly never saw two tickets to paradise. Funny though, good timing buddy.

My #1 irritation with this situation… Those oh so splendid vacations in paradise never seem to materialize. How about show me a little something?  Be different from the others. Hang around long enough for me not to be concerned that I might get shoved off the deck of a cruise ship, and for God’s sake pay for the trip if you make like 10x more than I do!

Published in: on November 17, 2011 at 9:00 am  Comments (5)  
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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Wow. Not entirely sure what to think of these guys. It’s one thing to just offer it as a joke, setting a mood, but another to be serious about it when barely knowing someone. Yikes.

  2. Great article.

    Classic case of men trying to buy or impress women.

    It’s as if they are subcommunicating to the female that they are wealthy or something.

  3. P.S.Lmao @ the ex-BF mentioning Hawaii as if today you missed out.

    I wonder if women fall for this crap?

    • ya! What did he think I would say? “Oh wait, I change my mind!!!”?

      • Lmao well in a guy’s rational mind,he would expect you to change your mind lol.

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