Meet The Tom Cat

My girlfriend, The Sweet Tri-athlete has been talkin’ to a guy she has nicknamed “The Cat”. I asked her why this moniker and she wrote “he comes and goes when he pleases and his is kind of skitterish if you reach out too much… but when he decides to snuggle… it is like heaven 🙂 ”


I thought this was absolutely the perfect moniker for this guy. I am NOT impressed with him. I’ve met him in person and heard her stories and the best I can say is that he is well equipped. Aside from that, he just seems to jerk her around. That’s bs. Ya don’t do that to a single mom and especially not someone as sweet as The Tri-athlete.


He’s tall and thin in his white cowboy hat. He’s clean-shaven and he has this sort of ranch hand style, but not in a sexy tight wranglers way. He had dark eyes and a quiet personality.


Like me, she is trapped in this tiny town overwhelmed by the married or undate-able. Were she in some big city, I’m sure she’d be dating some savy, handsome and active international business man or something…. but we are all trying to grow where we are planted.


The Tom Cat apparently has a bad reputation… like he’s some kind of bad boy. The Sweet Tri-athlete can’t figure this out because she swears he treats her like a nun. All their “dates” have been family things, like going to church, to the lake with kids in tow, or dinner with his family. It’s like they skipped over all the dating stuff and went straight to couple town.


As her girlfriend, this bothers me for several reasons… First is, apparently he’s never had to even buy her dinner. He’s made pretty much no investment in her or their relationship at all but seems to be reaping the benefits of having her around. Then He sneaks her off away from the crowd to climb on to his lap and fool around a tiny bit. (which is how she knows what he’s packin’) YET, when it’s her birthday and she gets a hotel room and wants to dance the night away in her slinky leopard print dress… he bails. 

I also find it distasteful to take someone to events that wreak of “committed relationship” and then tell them you aren’t together.  I’m not good with the hot and cold bit.  Get your shit together, then come talk to me — ya know?  I don’t need to be jerked around, and I don’t like it when guys do it to my friends either.   


I am starting to think this guy has a reputation as a “bad boy” not because he lives outside the law and is fun to play with, but because he treats women like shit.


I’m not the only one complaining about this guy. Pretty much every girlfriend she has is telling her to get the hell away from him. Apparently he’s seeing or talking to some other girl. The Sweet Tri-athlete knows about this and acts like she’s fine with it. Anytime you mention dating to The Sweet Tri-athlete (because of previous heartbreak) she recoils, but with this situation I guess she can lie to herself and label it something else. The truth is though, she’s starting to have feelings. She’s a funny girl. She’s terrified of getting her heart-broken again, yet she’ll play around with this situation. Unrequited love is just a one way ticket to Heartbreak Town.


Moral of the story: In the words of the great Maya Angelou — “Never make someone a priority, when all you are to them is an option.”

Published in: on November 6, 2011 at 9:00 am  Comments (9)  
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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I love the quote from Maya Angelou…. gotta write that down now lest I forget.

    Oh, and keep reminding your girlfriend her BF is a piece of cr*ap, forgive the word, but that’s what he is.

    Greetings from California.

    • Thank you for the feedback! As far as reminding her goes.. I am more of a “say my piece and let it be” kinda girl. So, I said it, and I’ll answer questions if asked but for the most part I just love her and let her live her life. 🙂

  2. Sad to admit this but most women are content with whatever little time, energy or feelings men are willing to share with them. Many women just don’t want to be alone which is why they end up in relationships like the one you described in this post. The consistent message is “I’d rather have some of him than none of him”. Explains why so many women date married or unavailable men. If you don’t deeply understand your worth, you will settle for what’s in front of you but when you know your worth you will not stop until you find someone worthy of all that is YOU.

    • That is very true. I am at the point where I refuse to settle & am enjoying just being me. Also, my Mom recently made a good point. She said when you are “hunting” you may want something so badly that you’ll try to manufacture something out of nothing.

      • Your Mom is a WISE woman. When it’s meant to be…it will be. Love is not something you can create it’s a connection that grows into something amazing.

  3. I love that quote from Maya Angelou and will have to remind myself of it for my own life.

    You can’t imagine how frustrating it is for my friends and I to watch quality women eagerly dally with men like this while caring, gentle guys who aspire to integrity like us are left to scratch our heads… and it’s been going on since college. I’ve got to believe these choices are, at some level, intentional.

    • It’s frustrating too, for women to watch men with crazy bitches. Why can’t we get it together? & Where all you great guys hiding anyway?

  4. Wanna see where we (at least I) hide ourselves? My blog pretty well bares my soul and lifestyle. By the way, I’ve referred to your blog and post in a post of my own using your Maya Angelou quote. Hope that’s okay, it might bring you some traffic.

    • That’s fantastic! What a boost for the ego! Refer to me anytime you want. 😉

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