Have You Seen “Bridesmaids”???

 

Warning: if you have not seen the movie…. stop now. Do NOT read this blog because I fully intend to talk all about it and it will ruin the movie for you.

 

Bridesmaids.. funny, and edgy. I’d say the character development on the main character was good, but it left something to be desired with most of the other characters.

 

What I noticed most about this movie is that it hit real close to home on a lot of issues. Some lighthearted like women and how competitive they are with each other.. but some a little heavier for me.

 

During the opening scene, we see the main character, Annie, in bed with a very handsome guy but she’s obviously NOT totally into it. She’s there for his enjoyment really… and he’s just going and going and going and not noticing Annie hanging in there, trying like hell not to roll her eyes.

 

She jumps out of bed and fixes her make-up before he wakes up, and then when he does open his eyes he eventually gets around to asking her to leave… saying “This is so awkward. I really wanna ask you to leave but I don’t know how to do it without sounding like a dick. Hahaha.” Ya, real funny. Before that they have a bumbling conversation about the fact that the two of them are NOT a relationship. She trips through a completely false speech about how she’s not like other girls wanting him to be her boyfriend and she’s not looking for a relationship right now. Watching her face, you can see that it’s all a complete lie.

 

I sat and watched this train wreck of a situation that was pretty much summed up by her saying “I mean, I can do whatever you want” and thought how I had been in that situation before. I have certainly been the girl lying to herself. I have been the girl giving it up, not because she was having fun in bed, but as a trade off for his company.

 

I have been the girl sitting across the table from her best friend being reminded “you always HATE yourself after you sleep with him.”

 

Later Annie meets a great guy, and eventually they get together… He’s nice to her and really likes her, and she pretty much runs out the door. I have been the girl SO worried about protecting her heart that she assumes a situation is nothing… instead of something. It’s like her head is so screwed up from being treated like a cheap trick that she can’t see this nice guy is for real.

 

Later in the movie, the first guy… the douche bag with the Porsche and the big house, actually says to her “Hey, fuck buddy…” What the hell?!! She’d crashed her car and felt she had no one else to call to be rescued. (I know that feeling too). THEN while in the car, he goes into this whole thing about how she could just take a nap in his lap if she wanted to. He’s even pointing to his crotch, and obviously expecting her to perform some spontaneous road head. She finally gets out.

 

Wow, all of this has left me in such a thoughtful mood. Honestly, the guy with the Porsche reminded me quite a bit of The Collector… although I’d say The Collector is more respectful. The Collector had this whole thing where he would joke about road head on a regular basis… pretty much anytime we were planning to go anywhere together in his truck. I finally put a stop to it, telling him it’s not funny anymore. He stopped.

 

I also feel like my entire interaction with The Collector has been meeting his needs, and me ignoring mine. That’s not cool. Even the last time I saw him, and we spent an hour and a half on a bench talking… We talked about him, and what was going on in HIS life.

 

When he scheduled his camping trip down this way… He didn’t even actually come to me. He camped like 45 minutes south of here. In fact, it seemed like he was only doing that because his sense of fair play told him he needed to… not necessarily because he -wanted- to see me.

 

He’s never seen my place, and has made no plans to do so. Idk.. I don’t like this. I feel like I’m sleeping with someone I rarely hear from, who spends his time looking for something better. That’s not enough. I don’t feel good about that.

 

I’d even go as far as saying it’s a waste of my time. I’m investing time, energy, and emotion into –once again– someone I barely hear from, who spends his time looking for something better. That bothers me. It bothers me on a regular basis. I don’t expect to be the only one in his life, I just expect to feel like I matter and right now– I don’t.

 

I spent over an hour during my workout this morning having a conversation with The Collector in my head. Still, I’m on the fence. It’s the same thing Captain Amazing has been telling me for weeks now… either enjoy the little time you have with him, or stop seeing him all together. Honestly, if I did stop seeing him, I wouldn’t be missing much. A date once a month, maybe? Then again, as my Mom always says “a little bit of somethin’ is better than a whole lot of nothin’.”

 

Maybe I should be more direct with him. I have kind of hinted around about needing more time and attention but I don’t want to be all needy and put demands on him. Besides, I think that’s just who he is… a social butterfly.

 

I don’t want that. I want someone to be in my life everyday… or at least to hear from him every few days… but there I go again talkin’ about what I’d settle for. I’m not supposed to be settling. I told myself I wouldn’t.

 

I want some company tho. My life feels so lonely sometimes. I guess I need to get the girls together again. It’s weird tho. I know plenty of women, but I don’t have that amazing connection with any of them here in town. I don’t feel safe and accepted with them. They don’t really know me. My Best Girlfriend, who I feel all those things with lives 35 min away and I never see her. I feel all that with Captain Amazing too, and he’s 45 minutes away and I rarely see him either.

 

I’d like to say that maybe something could grow with the women who live here, and that may be true but with My Best Girl and Capt Amazing it was there right from the start and just got stronger.

 

I have been thinking about The Ambassador of Ambiguity the last few days… just wishing he wasn’t the way he is, I guess. Having him here in town and available to hang out all the time was awesome…. totally awesome. I just wish he wasn’t an unreliable person… one who makes plans with me and then doesn’t show and doesn’t call. That’s who he is though. I’ve even talked to him about it, and it still happened again. I can’t hang with that. People that stick their heads in the sand, and run away from things (instead of facing them head on) drive me freakin’ crazy.

 

Jeez, how much time do I spend wishing guys weren’t the way they are? The Collector and The Ambassador…

 

So, anyway, I don’t know what I am going to do. I’d like to just let it ride with The Collector and see what he does but it’s bothering me every day. I feel like I need some kind of resolution to the situation or it will keep eating at me.

 

Well, my plan for now is to get my mind right with it. I just won’t plan on seeing him again. I’ll operate my life in that manner. First step, make plans with Captain Amazing and his woman for next Friday night to go to the city and laugh my ass off. I think I’ll even call The Psych Student and ask him to be my date. 😀

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Published in: on October 25, 2011 at 9:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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