Seeing The Collector Again

Fresh out of the shower, I slipped on a soft grey blouse with a little lace at the top, some leggings, my $100 brown knee-high boots and a new scarf. Make up perfect, and my sassy short hair looking super hot. Ahhh, there is nothing like wearing an outfit you love… loving the way you look. It can give you an air of confidence like there’s no tomorrow… not just that you have the air though… You’ll actually feel more confident and happy.

I had a big night planned. First, to see The Collector for an afternoon movie and then off to a girlfriend’s birthday bash.

The Collector and I had just chatted… He gave me a hard time about the movie I picked (The Help) and I flipped it right back at him. There’s nothin’ like draggin’ a big tough Alpha Male to a movie all about women, and I was not going to miss my chance!

At one point he even said “Ooooh, you sassy bitch!”

I laughed.

“Why do you do that to me?” he asked.

“Because you like it that way” I replied.

“Ya, I do!” he said “It’s great to be able to cut loose a little bit and be yourself… not worry that every other thing you say is going to be met with ‘what is that supposed to mean?’”

I suppose that’s what happens when you spend years and years dating high maintenance blond pains in the ass. Hahaha.. but, of course, I kept that one to myself.

I was excited to see The Collector, even though I have been having some.. umm, let’s say issues with him lately. He’s been too damn busy being Mr. Popular to put much effort in with me. Plus, he’s been collecting girls every where he goes, it seems. They keep popping up all over his Facebook and I have to admit, that pisses me off. And then there’s The Crazy Wine girl. Grrrr…

I was thinking about how I would greet him when I saw him. I never know how affectionate to be with him. I don’t want him to feel like I’m being possessive, but at the same time I want him to know that I like him and find him attractive and all that fun stuff. Generally, I just let him take the lead… but at the same time I don’t want him to feel like he’s always the one who has to initiate things.

It turned out to be the standard hello hug. He was quite complimentary about my suave outfit, although, I noticed he hadn’t seemed to make much effort. He was in a t-short and athletic shorts. Hmmm.

We bellied up to the ticket window and I nudged my way in front of The Collector to buy the tickets. He made the move though. Kudos and claps to him for that… but it was my idea, and my pick on the movie so it was my treat. He must have liked that, since he tends to keep score on that sort of thing. I do NOT like that. I originally thought it was a recent thing because of what happened with the ex-fiance but he does it with his buddies too. He and I are making progress though. I’m pretty happy with how things are now as far as that goes. I just want it to be a non-issue, things will balance out in the end.

The Help was fantastic, and even had a sassy woman writer as the main character. Woot woot! It was meaningful, beautiful, well written, and best of all –it provoked an emotional reaction. In fact, at the climax of the film The Collector was so irritated at the blatant racism and wicked entitled antagonists that he had to leave the theater for a few minutes. When he came back, the movie had turned and it was time for the protagonists to triumph.

He had a hand on my knee the entire movie, and moved his head over to whisper to me several times. I enjoyed that interaction.

I love that he was SO affected by the movie and so incredibly irritated by the social injustice. He even wanted to talk about it for a bit afterwards. We went over to Cold Stone, and he bought us some ice cream, then we strolled out and sat on a bench and talked.

He talked to me some about The Crazy Wine Girl. He had told me early in the week that he had royally pissed her off because he told her he wasn’t going to have sex with her anymore. It had sort of stemmed from a number of things. A couple of weekends ago, he had hung out with her at a wine festival and apparently she was oooozing the girlfriend vibe all over him. He also spent some time around some of her friends, and was not impressed at the kind of people she allows in to her life. He had decided she was not girlfriend material. The last straw came when they were having a conversation that lead directly to me. (ahhhh, he’s not dating her anymore AND I had something to do with it. What a shame…. NOT… feeeeeel my sarcasm! FEEL IT! lol)

Let me break it down for ya… Here is kinda how it went down via text message.

Wine Girl: Have you had sex with anyone else since you met me?

Collector: Ya. Mandy.

Wine Girl: You cheated on me!

(Man… typing that just makes me want to shout “fuck you, bitch, I was here first!” Childish, I know. Still, she frickin’ hit on him while he and I were on a date. She’s a terrible person.)

Collector: Wtf?!! No I didn’t! We’re not committed or anything like that. I let you know the score from the very beginning.

Wine Girl: Ya, but you said when you find a watering hole you don’t usually stray.

Collector: Still, I don’t have a fucking contract with you!

At that point The Collector realized that she was getting way too attached, and he’d better do it now rather than later, because it would only be more difficult then.

Collector: I don’t think we should have sex anymore.

Wine Girl: WHAT? WHY?

Collector: You’re just getting too attached. I told you I’m not ready for a committment…

Cue The Crazy Wine Girl going ballistic via text message. Etc, etc… You get the picture.

The Collector and I had the same conversation about his sexy time habits (although I don’t remember it involving a watering hole) and I thought he was very clear. I took it as, that’s how he usually operated, and I was free to do whatever it was I wanted. No commitment. I was under no illusions and wasn’t even surprised when I realized he’d taken up with The Crazy Wine Girl.

I may have my complaints about The Collector, but at least I know where I stand. I’ve got girlfriends trying like hell to figure a guy out. I don’t have to do that with The Collector. He’s sweet and respectful and at the same time honest and open.

The Crazy Wine Girl apparently took this conversation a completely different way. Now, she’s back to bat shit crazy. She was apparently better there for a while, but now right back to the rapid fire text messaging. In fact, The Collector has even had to say to her “Stop acting crazy! You’re acting crazy!”

She seems to me like an incredibly insecure woman. I really think that’s what her craziness is linked to. She did better for a while, because she felt a bit more secure thinking that she was the only one in his life… or at least in his bed. Now, she’s right back to bat shit crazy.

The Collector talked to me about why he has this little rule for himself. He just said “It makes people feel bad. Even though I didn’t do anything wrong, it didn’t feel right. So, I’m not going to have sex with anybody until I start feelin’ like a good guy again.”

“Well, good cuz I hate her” I said.

“Why? Because she hit on me right in front of you?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s part of it. But also, that girlfriend vibe you were talking about is all over your Facebook page too.”

“Really? Do you think I need to take some of her comments off?”

“I don’t care if you do or not. Also, I actually met in person and I didn’t like her personality then. Oh, and she’s crazy. I know the score but I don’t need it in my face. I was about to unfriend you anyway. You have a lot of new “friends” who are girls popping up on your page.”

He smiled and shook his head then started to explain that most of the women are wives of friends… then there’s The Wine Girl and The Virgin, who is strictly a friend. “I wish more guys would comment on my profile” he said.

“Well, women are different from men. Thier connections and relationships are more important to them, I think.” I replied.

Sometimes, when he talks, it’s hard for me to get a word in edge wise. I feel like I should be telling him more about me and my situation but then again, to understand me, you have to be around me.

We did talk about my book project with Captain Amazing and my best girlfriend’s struggle when she got pregnant and the father was trying like hell to get her to abort the baby.

He told me about his plans for a boys day on Saturday. He planned to spend the entire day playing video games with his buddies. He then said he had to get going because his buddy was going to be wondering where he was at. He was picking him up to stay the night at his place.

He was sweet as he walked me to my car. He was smiling and telling me things like “I’m.. I’m a big fan of yours right now. You look so attractive today.” He kissed me, and ran his hands over my thighs and butt with restraint, ” Your ass is just…. mmmm” The Collector has a thing for skin-tight stuff and I was wearing leggings.

“I know, my ass is all over this outfit!” I said as I stepped away to put something in my car.

“Yes, you are bootylicious. You are Boyonce tonight!” he said.

I laughed… I’m not a huge fan of pop princesses or whatever you’d call Beyonce but I have to say, the word “bootylicious” had a surprising effect on my endorphins.

I stepped very close to him and said “So, just to be clear, you’re not having sex with anyone until you get and handle on this emotional stuff??

He replied in a fantastic way “ya, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be WAY over it by the time I see you next.”

I said “That’s ok, we could use a little more connection.” He dipped his head down and started talking about our previous sexy time together. If he’s not feeling connected, things don’t go as well. It’s the same for me. I’m a lot more fun when I’m feeling connected too. This wasn’t what I was looking for.

I replied “Ya, but still, I want to get to know you. It’d be good to hang out with out gettin’ all distracted.”

He smiled and stepped closer saying “it’s hard when you’ve got two sexy people.”

I grabbed his shirt and kissed him again… and then off we went in our separate directions.

I spent the evening listening to one girlfriend say that she doesn’t think men find her attractive because of her age, and another trying to figure out why her date seemed to be jerking her around and even left early the night of her birthday bash.

I realized that even though I’m not thoroughly satisfied with what’s happening with The Collector and I… I don’t have to figure him out. I don’t have to wonder if he finds me attractive. Building something takes time… even if you’re just building a friendship. You need time, not just on the phone or by text message, but in person talking. I’m good with that. Plus, I think we may have ironed out some wrinkles in this thing with The Collector and I. I do wish I’d said something about his not making much time for me, but that’ll keep.

I did let him know that in 2 weeks I have the last weekend I’ll have without kids or work… for a long time. After that, I’ll have to get a babysitter or whatever. I told him I wanted to come back to the city and watch some stand up. He talked about a dinner theater he’s been to, and I said “So take me!” I said, “You have my number.”

We’ll see what happens. Whether he calls or not, I’ll be back in the city laughing my ass off. I have seen girlfriends of mine, even at 50 or older still waiting on a man. I’m not going to be that girl. I’ll be back in the city, AND with a date on my arm if I decide I want one… Will it be The Collector? Who knows… the ball is in his court.

Published in: on October 6, 2011 at 6:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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