Facebook Phobia

Are you kidding me?? My ex-boyfriend posted the birthday wish I texted him –on Facebook. Why does that PISS ME OFF? I don’t know but it does. I purposely never Happy Birthday people on Facebook because I think it takes absolutely no effort, since FB prompts you when it’s the person’s birthday, and WAY too many people do it! When I saw the post, that he had purposely made to look like I had actually put it on his wall, my blood pressure INSTANTLY rose, and steam started coming out my ears to the sound of a horn blowing… ya, just like in the cartoons! Here’s our text message conversation.

me: Happy Birthday X (as in ex boyfriend NOT a kiss)

him: Thank you X.

me: (after seeing it) You posted my birthday wish to you on FB?

him: It’s called genius. It does it automatically through the calendar once I view my calendar. Want me to take it off?

him: It didn’t put your phone number.

me: Does that mean that anything I text you could end up on FB?

him: I like it but if you don’t I will remove it.

him: No, just birthday calendar wishes. That’s all.

me: I don’t see how it’s any different. It looks exactly like the other text msgs.

me: That kinda freaks me out.

him: And events if you set it up that way. Only these two. Not conversations.

him: I just explained it. It is just calendar events/birthday events minus phone numbers.

him: I didn’t write the program. It comes with the Droid software. It is attached to you calendar.

him: Also, no picture

me: Yes, plz take it off. That was supposed to be between you and me. FB is like a billboard to everyone you know… And I thought that X thing would be you and I. I know it sounds silly to you but I don’t like it.

him: Done! Have a nice day.

me: you too.

Oh helllll no. You’re not going to take something I thought was a private conversation (even if it is just a Happy Birthday) and post it to your Facebook for all the world to see.

Of course, wouldn’t you know, this is also The Stalkerish Ex-Boyfriend that still has a terrible crush on me, and can’t get it through his thick skull that we will never get back together, EVER.

This kind of crap is part of why I hate Facebook and why I call him The Stalkerish Ex-boyfriend. It’s not enough to reply to every frickin’ thing I post but now he’s making up posts… and software functions. Hello, stalkerish. I don’t believe one word of that crap about the Droid software knowing the difference between a happy birthday post and a conversation post. I even talked to a computer guy I know. BUT leave it to the ex to make up some shit like that and then spend all day posting messages to himself so it would -look- like he’s telling the truth. Whatever!

Now, if you are dating and the men you see are on your Facebook then prepare for a chain reaction. The Ambassador of Ambiguity checked out The NY Musician’s site and said he was checkin’ out the competition. The NY Musician then later started a pissing match (which I deleted) with The Stalkerish Ex-Boyfriend.

Apparently, after the first conversation The NY Musician friended The Stalkerish Ex-Boyfriend. Then he replied to one of his status updates The Stalkerish Ex then called me ike “who the hell is this guy? Why was he even looking at my page anyway? I never approved his friend request. I know he’s an IT guy, he probably hacked his way on to my friend list.” (and on and on and on). Which meant I had to call The NY Musician, who, of course acted like his comment didn’t mean anything at all. Then I had to call The Stalkerish Ex back and feel his irritation oozing through the phone.

I also hate Facebook because all the new posts and pictures of my friends pop up on my news feed… so I get to see the wine girl totally cyber stalk the shit out of The Ramblin’ Man. I see every time he’s made a new high maintenance blond pain in the ass “friend”, or the swimsuit model/ bartender he friended tonight…. and it’s not just him. He’s just the one that’s currently irritating me. After all, remember The Ambassador of Ambiguity’s slow dance in the shower post?

I should have listened to Captain Amazing. “Facebook ruins relationships” he says, and he may very well be right. I’ve never been on his facebook and I think that’s a very good thing. I mean, I’m stuck with The Ramblin’ Man now, right? Either I keep him on the friend list and try like hell not to look at it, or explain to him why I defriended him. I choose growing some self-discipline. We’ll see how that goes.

NO MORE… If I am dating someone, or want to date someone, or even THINK about dating someone… He does NOT get on my Facebook! Now, I have GOT to find a good line to DENY access to my Facebook to any new gentlemen who might ask… Hmmmm… I’m thinkin’ “Hmmm, nope, sorry, I’ve got Facebook Phobia!”


Published in: on September 25, 2011 at 9:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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