Everyone is Looking For a Fixer Upper

I discussed this theory with The Red Hott Ramblin’ Man when I visited The Higginbotham. He thinks everyone is lookin’ for a fixer upper and that’s why it’s sometimes difficult for people like he and I to get a date. He’s an engineer with an advanced degree. He’s handsome, smart, charming, and funny. He’s got his life in order and it’s intimidating.

I’ve often wondered about this phenomenon. I’m a woman with a fantastic career. I own my own home and have been told many times that I have my shit together. I know how to run my life. I have wondered if men just like girls that need a hero or something. I have wondered if I am too smart and independent. Men like to be the hero. Everyone wants to be needed.

Mr. Cool once told me that there is nothing he can get from me but my company. That’s all I have to offer him since he’s got everything else he needs in life. I’m sure it wasn’t meant as an insult but it felt a little harsh. The truth is that should be a great compliment. He doesn’t want anything from me but my charming company.

Whatever it is, I can’t change. I won’t change. I am a strong independent woman and I am just going to have to hold out until I find someone who appreciates that.

The Ramblin’ Man went even farther with his theory in saying that everyone is lookin’ for a fixer-upper. He thinks everyone wants someone who is a little less than themselves. Why? Maybe so they can be the hero? I’m not sure.

I think no one wants to date Mr. Perfect because you might suffer by comparison. Maybe he or she wants a project so he or she can sculpt and mold the other person and feel like an artist with his masterpiece. I know Captain Amazing’s greatest love was a project just like that. He once said that he had put together a Ferrari piece by piece and then handed it over to another man. When he met her, she didn’t have a successful career and had never had an orgasm. By the time they split she was more successful and was having sex with him in the steam room at their gym.

For me, projects have never gone well. I once dated a project guy, but I didn’t get into it knowing that or with that intention. I just like him. I liked him and I tried to stick it out through a drinking problem, rumors of cheating, and even jail. I just couldn’t hang. I don’t need that crap.

Everybody’s lookin’ for a fixer-upper… I hope that’s not true because nobody wants to be the project. Nobody wants to be the fixer-upper….. to feel like you are less than your partner. I was married to someone like that… to someone who, it seemed, never made a mistake. I used to call him The Robot. So, that made me the fuck up in the relationship and I hated being that. It was a horrible feeling. I’m no fixer-upper, and I’m DEFINITELY not now… 4 years later, standing on my own 2 feet.

The Ramblin’ Man even made a remark about this with his previous girlfriend. From what I have gathered, she is the entitled princess type.. He said “and surprise, guess what.. who’s the fixer upper now?”

Maybe that was because she had treated him like the fixer upper. That blows my mind because The Ramblin’ Man seems to have it all together.

I know I’m not lookin’ for some fixer-upper.. but then again it sure seems like Captain Amazing is. Maybe men and woman look at these things differently.

Published in: on September 18, 2011 at 9:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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