Just How Superficial are They?

Yesterday I bought a bikini. This might not sound like a momentous occasion to most of you but I am 34 years old with two kids and haven’t worn a little bikini in about 10 years.

You see, I never want to be that girl who people look at and go “oooh, she should NOT be wearing that!” So, I was opting for a lot of coverage ever since I was prego with my first child. All I could think about was that I didn’t like the way my stomach looked, or my thighs.

I remember once wearing a bikini (nothing skimpy at all) and having my ex-husband say “I’m really surprised you’re wearing that”…. or something to that effect. Way to crush a woman’s confidence.

I’ve been single for about 4 years now. I remember once guy I dated objecting to my mass coverage swimwear, but I just thought “ya right, like I’m going to wear a bikini!”

I have had YEARS to obsess over those trouble spots that I can’t seem to fix and have had no one to give me an outside perspective.

Well, lately I’ve been hearing the word bikini an awful lot. Mr. Off Limits says all the time “I bet you can rock a bikini.” Well, I haven’t seen Mr. Off Limits in years and he has NEVER seen me naked so that didn’t really mean much.

It was The Red Hott Ramblin’ Man that changed my mind. He has been saying “I wish you were here in your bikini lookin’ all sexy” or “too bad you weren’t here in your bikini giving me some motivation”. I don’t even know how many times he’s said or text or emailed the word bikini to me. Well, The Red Hott Ramblin’ Man’s ex-girlfriend was some kind of like Hawaiian Tropic Bikini model or something. That’s super intimidating, but see The Ramblin’ Man HAS seen me naked. I finally decided that if he’s seen me naked and he thinks I can wear a bikini then what the hell…

This also started me thinking about how I think of men’s bodies. Like what I notice about the bodies of the men I date and how important that is to me. I honestly don’t compare usually. The only time I can remember doing that is when I saw a man who was built almost exactly like my ex-husband… then it occurred to me but that’s it.

Mr. Hard Body has a gorgeous body. It’s probably the most toned and damn near perfect of any I have ever seen. That’s nice. It’s nice but not crucial and not super important. I’d like him if he stopped working out completely and became very skinny or if he got all soft and thick. He’s still the guy who OFFERS to help me move. He’s still the guy that stands in my kitchen and chat, brings me his specialty burritos at work, and pulls my pony tail.

He probably has his problem areas that he doesn’t like… Or maybe he hates his crooked teeth or whatever. Whatever it is, I have probably never noticed it or if I have I thought “so what”. I figure, if you’re attractive then you’re attractive. Unless you’ve got some huge major flaw like black teeth from doing drugs or are enormously fat… you’re in like Flinn.

Now, although men are super visual, I think they feel the same way about it. The Ramblin’ Man is not super toned like Mr. Hard Body but that doesn’t mean anything to me. They are just different.

What do you think, readers? Do men see things this way too?? or do they look with a harsher eye??

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Published in: on August 31, 2011 at 10:55 am  Leave a Comment  
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