The One Who Cares the Least Controls the Relationship

As I chatted with the Ambassador today, he talked about The Sneaky Little Bitch and how they are “seeing each other” and not sleeping with anyone else but they are NOT dating and they are definately not girlfriend-boyfriend. (I hate that term girlfriend-boyfriend, what are we in Junior High School?) Anyway, as he explained “where they are” he said “who controls that???”

Instantly I replied… “the one who cares the least.”

“Wait, what?”

I repeated “The one who cares the least controls the relationship.” Words of wisdom seared into my brain by my last boyfriend… The one I refer to as the stalkerish ex-boyfriend. (He’s not always stalkerish. We’re doing great now. We’re the best of friends.. but I like people intense and intense he is!)

The Ambassador was intruiged by this and he suggested I put it in the blog. It was as thought that had never occured to him but it’s so utterly true.

It was The Ambassador’s opinion that I would get plenty of comments on it with people arguing against this line… and so I thought about it.

I think it’s true that there can be times that one person in the relationship (probably the woman) is actually controlling the situation from behind a curtain… so it looks at though Mr. Man is in charge, but really she’s playin’ him like a fiddle.

However, I maintain that even in that type of situation… The one who cares the least STILL controls the relationship because the one who cares the least is the one most willing to walk away.

The Ambassador of Ambiguity and The Sneaky Little Bitch are in the wierdest place. She has quite the jelous streak and tells him he looks into every car with a girl in it and even expressed her unhappiness at him going to a movie with me. She complained that I took him to a romantic comedy… Haha! Like that had anything to do with it. It was gender that rubbed her the wrong way. In fact, they were messaging as The Ambassador and I talked on the phone. She was NOT happy, and said something like “oh her. is she still tryin’ to get with you?” (Oh honey, I am not trying to “get with him” or he’d have already been got. I’m playin’ the long game. You have no idea…. you, my dear, are only temporary)

That pissed me off… I snapped “that was hella rude!” I was impressed, however, that he didn’t just cave. He said he’s got my back and simply gave her reassurance.

He had to tell her like three different ways that he and I are just friends. I maintain that even if we weren’t, it’s none of her damn business. remember? They aren’t actually dating.

He’s been all jelous because her ex-boyfriend has been hanging around and professing his love and asking her to marry him. See, but he doesn’t want to get in any deeper because he sees all kinds of red flags and is afraid he’ll get hurt. As far as she goes, well I don’t know why she doesn’t want more if she’s done with her ex. Hmmmm.

So, apparently The Ambassador was really starting to feel attached. I’m guessing he knew that would happen, which is why he was trying to take things slow. He knows sex makes him feel all emotionally involved. So, now he’s fighting that feeling out of self preservation. What a mixed up, twisted around world we live in. I mean, what a mess!

On the flip side… although I am concerned that I will be banished to the friend zone, I haven’t given up yet. I’m sure it’s not going to last with The Sneaky Bitch and it seems that I am sitting right where I want to be. I know what he really wants… He wants his best friend, and a passionate lover. Don’t we all want that? He wants someone to be generous with her time and let him pamper her and take care of manly things… be Conan the Barbarian once in a while.

I think I may be spending a little time in the friend zone at the moment, but I haven’t given up yet. Turns out I’m sitting right where I wanna be. I know what he wants. I’ve listened to him again and again talk about how he wants a woman who is his best friend, and also a passionate adventurous lover. Isn’t that what we all want? It’s definately what I want.. and to laugh and be wild about each other. To hang on tight, enjoy the ride, and hopefully have it become something more down the road.

The way I see it… he talks to his guy BFF and he talks to me. That’s right where I want to be. I just need to make sure I let that scortchin’ hott scorpio sensuality of mine seep out a little here and a little there so he can see it.

I honestly do wish him all the happiness in the world but that doesn’t mean I don’t want him for myself. He’s a great guy, smart, sexy, driven and he can really make me laugh. He’s one of the most fantastic people I’ve ever met and has such a big heart. I feel lucky to have him in my life. Right now he’s a friend who’s got my back and I’m going to hang on to that for all it’s worth.

I would never interfere with what he’s got going on. That just seems to cross a line, but I will stay in his life and be the smart sassy little thing that I am and see where that takes us. Let’s just see if he doesn’t fall madly in love with me because as author Sherry Argov says “Attraction is about looks, falling in love is about attitude.” And guess what, I’ve got a new attitude. 😉

Published in: on August 25, 2011 at 9:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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