The Reappearance of The Ambassador

There has been a reappearance of The Ambassador of Ambiguity. I managed to act like a grown up about his disappearance (if you have been reading the blog, you know I was pissed) and send him an email entitled “Where have you gone”. It said things like “How did we get here? We seem to have gone from talking nearly everyday and you rushing home to flip on the computer and see what I’m doing to not responding to my messages, taking my calls or calling me back. Whatever it is, I wish you would talk to me about it. Seriously, I’ve got my big girl panties on today, I can handle it. You make my life better, I’d hate to lose you all together…”- ya know, etc.

Well, he did finally respond. He’s been seeing another girl and spending a lot of time with her (aka: they are having sex). Apparently, the stellar advice given by this stupid new girl and his guy BFF was to not talk to me because I would not want to know him anymore once I found out. Ugh, not true. I’m a little more emotionally intelligent than that.  I’m gonna get that angry over someone I never even laid a hand on?

So, we ironed out those wrinkles with the caveat that if he ever ignores me and makes me coax information out of him again, he’d better be prepared to have his toes stomped and I mean GOOD, the next time I see him.

Friday rolls around and my evening first date isn’t for several hours… I’m sittin’ around the house. Kids are at their Dads and I catch the trailer for “Crazy Stupid Love” and remember I really want to see that. I consider going alone, and decide I’d rather not go by myself, if I can help it… so what the heck, I fire off a message to The Ambassador.

He replied promptly with “ahhh, did you leave already? I have to jump in the shower!!” all in red. I told him I’d be leaving in a couple of hours.

He shows up at my door and I’m painting my nails as I keep some of the principles of “Why Men Love Bitches” in my head… I keep reminding myself NOT to rush for him. Let him wait.

I feel so much more relaxed now. Maybe it’s because of that book, maybe it’s because I don’t want anything from him now… since he’s got the stupid new girl.

We get in the car and have to stop at 2 different gas stations. The first was PACKED and I quickly let it be known that I had NO intention of waiting around for the one lowly cashier to try to catch up with the giant crowd of people.

On the way to the next station, he is noticing my new super sexy short hair. Which, by the way, I have been getting crazy amounts of compliments on. Ha! I always thought guys were strictly attracted to the long hair thing… but my hair is now chin length and SO hott. I conclude short hair is for confident women and confidence is incredibly sexy.

So, I can tell he is not only noticing the new do but also the new attitude.

I got the 411 on the new girl and then entire situation.  Turns out that it never occurred to The Ambassador that I was dating other people until the camping trip with The Ramblin’ Man. I guess he thought we were exclusive. BUT then again, his Plenty Of Freaks profile was still up and he had this ridiculous like 20-year-old girl over to his place. ??? ok… so, he finds out about camping with The Ramblin’ Man and I guess decides that he’s going to see other people too.

So, there he is plugging along at his grudgingly slow pace, when all of a sudden the stupid new girl gets -super- aggressive with him.  I mean like grabbing his junk.  I stopped him there on the details.

See, here’s the thing about The Ambassador and his slow pace. All the affection, touching, kissing, and especially sex really means something to The Ambassador. It means it’s now a “real relationship” so he didn’t want to go there until he was sure.

Well, Miss Stupid New Girl gets super aggressive and they end up having sex. Oop, well, there it is… now he’s exclusive with her because that’s how he rolls. She’s like the frickin’ stow away girlfriend. Ya know, the one who just shows up and never leaves?

I’m amazed at the things I hear about other women. How they act while dating. It’s ridiculous really. He is very clear about going slow, and she just runs right over his boundaries. Stomps all over them and mashes ’em down like Lucille Ball making wine.  Doesn’t give a damn what he wants. Even worse, she is rewarded for doing so!  He actually gives her the exclusivity she was looking for. Unreal… it worked! That sneaky little bitch.  (I like that, lets call her The Sneaky Little Bitch from now on)

Then he tells me she’s got this ex-boyfriend hanging around professing his love. Apparently, he was paying her no attention until she started talking to The Ambassador.  Her friends took some pics and sent them to this ex-boyfriend and now He’s showing up at her work and staying there during her entire lunch break.  She’s texting The Ambassador telling him the ex-boyfriend is there, and The Ambassador is thinking “why isn’t she telling him to go away??”

“Because she doesn’t want to” was my reply.  I also said “If she isn’t telling him to go away, then she is encouraging him.”

He decided he was going to talk to her and tell her he’s backing out until she gets that situation straight.  He asked if I thought it was a good idea.  I said “the only person we can control in this world is ourselves.  So, for you to say you are backing off until she gets that straight.  Ya, I think that’s good.  You don’t need that, and if she’s in the same place you are, she’ll get her situation straight.”

Now, I made sure NOT to let him just completely vent to me. I don’t want to get sent in to the friend zone. Now this is going to take some training, for him and me. He started talking about sex with her… I’m like “nope, nope… I’m not one of the guys, so le’ts not pretend I am. I don’t want to hear anymore about this.” He continued again later and I said “You’re about to get your toes stomped.”

“What… by you?” he asks

“Yes by me!” I reply “it’s a damn good thing we’re drivin’ in the car right now.” He laughs.

The Ambassador and I talk about dating and how it’s changed with so many people doing the multiple dating thing. He tells me The Sneaky Little Bitch made it clear right from the start that she didn’t want to do that. I thought “shit, I’ve gotta do that!” Amazing that it had never occurred to me to just say “no… I don’t do that. If you want to play with me, I don’t play that way.” Damn it, I wish I had thought of that!

I also told him that I don’t know her but I will say that having another guy come around to make a dude jealous works like a freakin’ charm. Works crazy well.

So, we go to the movie, which I thought was very good. Of course I’m in love with Ryan Gosling (like most of the world is) so I’m biased. I messed with The Ambassador shoving his elbow off the arm of the chair and we giggled and whispered during the movie.

When we got out I asked him if it made him think about talking to The Sneaky Little Bitch. (by the way, I managed to refrain from calling her the stupid new girl to him. I called her by her name).

He replied “nope, I was thinking about you actually.”   Hmmmm, then I thought “yep, I’m a game changer.”

I explained to him that I can sometimes get nervous in the beginning stages of dating and then I’m too nice. It ends up making this watered down version of myself. I said I probably hadn’t let him see enough of me, of who I really am… He replied with some flirtatious remark like “you’re damn right you didn’t let me see enough.”

We later talked about me being “too nice” in respecting his boundaries. He said he really appreciated that, and it’s why he feels so comfortable with me. I laughed and said “ya, but now you’re sleeping with her. Really worked for me, didn’t it??”

Published in: on August 9, 2011 at 9:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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