OMG Now They Are Coming Out of The Woodwork!

Suddenly I’ve got great guys coming out of the woodwork and honey, I only have time for one man in my life!  I am a single working Mom with a very demanding career. Even with just one man in my life I have to be really be conscious of the relationship otherwise I’ll get all wrapped up in the things I have to do in life and neglect my man.

Not only do I have The Red Hott Ramblin’ Man tryin’ to get me to come see him and go on a trip to boot, but I also have Mr. Hard Body trying to get time with me without the kids in tow and now The Jailer. The Jailer is someone I met on a few months ago. He lives about 4 hours away and came to town to meet me. We had coffee at this funky fantastic coffee shop, then walked around town and around the park. We talked for hours and I thought we connected and had a great date. I wasn’t really crazy about his aesthetic, but he had a quiet but strong presence about him and the aesthetic thing seems trivial really.

So, after our first date, he sort of disappeared on me. He wrote me an email saying he didn’t know what he wanted and needed to think. He also said he didn’t really like the town I lived in and wouldn’t want to move here, etc. Which, I agree, this town kind of sucks but it’s the people in your life that are important… I didn’t say that to him, however. I said I thought it was kinda early to be talking about moving and stuff. I sent a gentle reply and then didn’t hear from him for a while. Now he has popped back up and we have been emailing for a while. Haven’t talked on the phone though (which I think is odd), and he doesn’t have a cell.

He wants to see me again, and I invited him to stay at my new huge house if he was in town. Now he wants to visit. I have put him off saying I’ll have my kids for a couple of weeks on my days off. Hopefully that will do, but he isn’t the slightest bit squeamish about meeting my kids, so we’ll see.

Oddly enough, The Jailer is yet another single guy in his 30s, no kids and never married. How do I keep meeting these guys? I don’t know but maybe my life has something they need to make theirs feel fuller. My life is overflowing with pets and kids and friends and love.  I love it that way.  I’m very blessed…  it may be too that I’m not real good at being alone.  I mean I can do it.  I enjoy my own company, but I don’t prefer it and I don’t think people were made to be alone.  anyway… went off on a tangent there…

This whole thing is ridiculous really… even my ex-husband has been trying to talk to me. It was what I wanted for SO long. I have him so many chances to get back together and he had no interest. He’s broken up with his girlfriend for good now though, and he is lonely. He seems willing even to make changes and stuff but the truth is… I don’t want that. I don’t want to be back with him. I can’t even imagine it at this point. I’ve seen what’s out there and I don’t want to go back. He’s a depressed, angry and emotionally unavailable. No thanks.. so much better out there.

There’s also a soldier who randomly accidentally emailed my phone.  I don’t know how that happened.  Anyway, he’s on leave and trying to take me out.  No can do, senior…  I got enough stuff to handle!

At this point, the Jailer isn’t really even in the running. We communicate well, but he just doesn’t have a piece of my heart. I really enjoy knowing someone who works in a similar field as I do but friendship is all I feel for him. I’ve got to let him know that.

Even with that, I’d be happy to have him as a house guest but how would that look to Mr. Hard Body (who lives like around the block) or The Red Hott Ramblin’ Man if he found out?? I’m not willing to risk that but I’m not sure what to do. Ask permission? From who? No one has wanted any sort of committment from me so I’m not bound to anyone or anything. And then there is the word I keep getting- not to DO anything.  I’m desperately trying to let things naturally progress.  It’s SO difficult for me.  I don’t want to manipulate any situation but at the same time I need to confront this issue if he’s going to come and stay, otherwise it’ll just be weird. It’ll be an elephant in the room that nobody’s talking about.

I keep thinking that God or fate or whatever… will resolve these situations. That something will naturally happen and the cream will rise to the top. Maybe that’s not the case though. It wouldn’t seem to be. Everyday I feel more and more pressure to decide. To talk to someone and tell him what’s going on with me.

I, of course, have no obligation to do so and I might even be surprised to find that either one or both of them is dating other people too. They might be like “why are you telling me this”? Plus, I wouldn’t want him (whichever him it might be) to think I’m trying to manipulate him into a relationship with something like “either we do ‘relationship’ or I’m going to be dating all these other guys”.

I have been told by at least one of my girlfriends that I should be happy about this.  That I have “options” but the absolute truth is — I’m scared to make the wrong decision! What if I pick The Red Hott Ramblin’ Man and then it doesn’t work out and I’ve lost my chance with Mr. Hard Body? I REALLY don’t want that to happen.

I think The Ramblin’ Man is out ahead at this point though because he has been around the longest and I’ve blown him off a couple of times already. Mr. Hard Body will just have to understand and be patient I guess. I hate to do that to him because he’s just coming out of a relationship where he was cheated on… It may really push his buttons. Plus, he’s RIGHT HERE in town. I mean AROUND THE CORNER! I love seeing him or talking to him everyday. I really think that what we have together is what I want every day, all the time. BUT HE’S NOT READY. He’s still doing that push-pull thing and has never really made a move. I don’t want to rush him and get a flat NO. I don’t know where I stand with that one most of the time. He tells me how he feels about all sorts of women and people and things, but not about me. Do I have the talk? It never seems like the right time to have a talk that could change everything. Or do I continue hanging in there and “not doing anything”?

If we have the talk and I tell him about The Ramblin’ Man… well, I guess either he’ll get pissed and back away or he’ll want to not let me slip away, and then the thing with The Ramblin’ Man will be done. I don’t want to bail on him again tho.. so maybe I can at least hold off ’til after the trip.

Ahhhhhh! This is maddening! I’m driving myself crazy with my brain going round and round in circles trying to figure out what to do. Why does everything happen to happen all at once.  Nothing can be spaced out in a workable fashion.  For now, at least, I guess I’ll continue to let it be. Although, I do need to talk to The Jailer. Ugh… that’s going to be fun. 😦

Published in: on July 6, 2011 at 4:46 am  Leave a Comment  
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