I Hate The Houdinis of The Dating World

So, The Super Sexy MMA Fighter and I talked for a few more days after that. I knew something was wrong. I KNEW. I think the tone of our communication changed, and the frequency dropped off. I called a few times and could’t get a hold of him, but he’d always come through just before the third strike.

(I have a personal 3 strikes rule. If I try to contact a guy by phone, text, or whatever, 3 times and he doesn’t respond then he’s OUT. I’ve firmly decided that I am not going to chase after anyone. I don’t want to play those silly games).

And then, POOF, he was gone. I hate the Houdini’s of the dating world. It is ridiculously wrong to disappear on someone. It leaves me wondering “was it something I did? Is he purposely ignoring me? why would he do that? does he really lack courage that much?? Is he alive or dead? What do I do now?”

In a way, I understand it with The MMA Fighter because he has this very curious personality where one side of him is tough as nails. I mean tough, like sewing up his own wounds kind of tough, but then there is this other side of him that just doesn’t want to face things… but rather stick his head in the sand.

Generally, I TRY not to cry and get upset over it and… Depending on the situation, it may hurt for a few days. I might smash out an agry blog like the one below but then I bounce back and get moving! After all, we only get one life, what’s the sense in wasting it? (especially wasting it on someone who doesn’t have enough cojones to even discuss it with you?)


What the hell has happened to dating? Are there absolutely no rules anymore? What kind of world do we live in when you can have several dates with someone, even sleep with them and then suddenly after weeks or months just stop taking thier calls. After talking or texting every day, you suddenly feel no need to even let this person know you are still alive?? Really? What on earth could that other person possibly have done to not even deserve the most basic common courtesy?

I remember my Mom always said “it’s just common courtesy to let me know if you are alive or dead!”

When did we completely lose our common courtesy in this country? Is there an entire generation with helicopter parents that never smacked them in the back of the head and said “hey! you answer when you’re spoken to!”

You would think that this kind of courtesy would be EVEN MORE important with people you have been dating. You wouldn’t just suddenly start ignoring someone at your office and refusing to answer when you saw “Dan’s office” on the caller ID… and that person may be a near stranger. If you’ve been dating this person that means this is someone you atleast liked enough to risk rejection and ask out on a date. You may have even shared the details of you life, touched, kissed, or been intimate. And then BANG… POOF.. now ya see me, now ya don’t??

I also have to add here that women are just as bad about this as men are. I know where the behavior comes from… Readers, correct me if I am wrong, but it is easier to ignore someone’s text messages and phone calls than it is to pick up the phone and say “this just isn’t working” because If you just ignore them then you DON’T have to:?

— explain anything

— answer uncomfortable questions

–possibly listen to the other person get angry and insult you

–listen to someone cry (not that you didn’t MAKE someone cry, you just don’t have to hear them do it)

–reveal your dirty little secrets (like lying, cheating, etc)

When did “I’ll just pretend like it never happened!” become an option in life?

I have a question for all you Houdinis out there! Aren’t you a big enough person to do what is right, even if the person on the other end of the line makes you a little uncomfortable? I mean, after all, uncomfortable won’t kill ya.

Published in: on June 23, 2011 at 5:52 pm  Leave a Comment  

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