The Hunky Mechanic

I took my car to the mechanic this week.  It’s making a funny noise, so I brought it to this crazy smart, very reasonably priced mechanic… who also happens to be my ex-boyfriend.  

I haven’t seen him in about a year, so I didn’t know if it was going to be awkward and uncomfortable going in there… but I trust him.  I really believe that even if he were still bitter, he would fix my car right and not rip me off.

Well, The Hunky Mechanic was looking good, and he was smiling and friendly.   I have to admit, I made sure my hair looked amazing, make-up flawless and I was wearing my (well, in the interest of not using profanity, let’s call them)”come and get me” boots.  I looked hott!

I walked into the office and peaked out into his work area, and he had an obvious reaction when he realized it was me.  Not in a negative way, thank God.

He looked like he had put a few pounds on, and it suited him well.  He’s a stocky, not too tall (perfect for me) red head.  (you know I’m crazy about red heads)  He was wearing his mechanic’s work shirt and the same Carhart jeans I remember. 

The thing I noticed the most is the way he moved.  I had forgotten the way he moves.  The way he holds his hands  when he talks and the way he growls and shakes his head when he’s having a frustrating day.  I hadn’t realized how much I missed those things.

The Hunky Mechanic fits the bill in several ways.  He’s at least two out of three.  1.  He’s got his life together.. He owns his shop, his house and his truck.  He doesn’t drink or do any drugs or chase women.  2.  We get along well.  He’s respectful and just plain nice.  Honestly, I can say he’s never said a harsh word to me.  3.  It’s the last part that is missing… that fiery chemistry.  I think that’s because he is kind of closed off. 

So, I knew he would text me.  I figured it would be that night, but turned out to be the next morning.  He just thanked me for being nice to him.  Apparently he thought I hated him.  I don’t know why he would think that.   (I don’t hate anyone)  He’s wonderful, just not really communicative…. and I am very needy in that area.  I want someone who is going to tell me every little thing that ticks them off or frustrates them or makes them want to dance.  I told him that of course I didn’t hate him — I trust him and I just needed someone who was going to talk to me all the time.  And then he said something that made me think…  He said “the way you like to talk, you should be able to teach me to communicate.”

Hmmm, maybe I could teach him.  The communication thing is so important to me, since it was non-existent at the end of my marriage.  It got so bad that my ex would not even acknowledge me when I came home from work at the end of the day–  just ignore me…  and when I started to see some of that “strong silent type” in the hunky mechanic, I ran. 

We live in a small town (he lives here, which is a HUGE bonus!) and we were the couple that everyone commented about.  We couldn’t walk into the bank or the grocery store with out someone saying “You two are SO cute together!  I’m so happy for you!” 

It wasn’t a big flashy romance… We did things together like pick up things at the store and stop by the bank.  We had dinner at his house a lot.  He’s a fantastic cook and the sex was amazing. 

We had mornings together, brushing teeth in the mirror, and blow drying my hair.. then stopping together to get coffee before we both headed off to work.   We fell into a comfortable place together pretty quickly.  We spent the holidays together.  I met his friends and family and he met my kids.  We even brought the kids by his house a few times and left  some toys there for them (at his request).

He’s a man who is generous with his things as well as his time.  He sent me off in his $50,000 truck on more than one occasion, saying “It’s just a truck.  I have insurance.”  I was speechless.

We took the kids out four-wheeling and sledding.  My kids loved him.  He is the super outdoorsy guy with a jeep and a shovel strapped to the back.  (I’m not a super outdoorsy girl, but I think that sort of thing can be fine in a relationship as long as both people give a little) He taught them how to heat a burrito on the engine as we were four-wheelin’ in the snow!  They were really upset when they came home to find the basket of toys they had left at his house, sitting on our front porch.  In fact, they were mad at me.

So, I am thinking this is worth giving it another try.  I think sometimes we have to go out in the world and look to realize how rare and special a person is.  I’m not completely sure though.  See, he’s the marrying kind.   I’m sure if we would have stayed together he’d have moved the relationship forward and probably proposed at some point even.  Maybe that is part of what scared me off.

He’s someone that I really could get serious with, and I don’t want to end up in a relationship with “the silent type” again.  And what if he doesn’t start opening up and talking?  Then I’m still at two out of three…  or I’m stuck in the situation of having to break it off again?  I don’t want to be there.  It was SO difficult.  We were both crying… and keep in mind The Hunky Mechanic is this uber masculine used to be firefighter,  can fix anything, works on race cars type guy and even he was crying.  It was awful..  AND then the kids were mad at me on top of it!

I talked it over with Captain Amazing and he pretty much said… but what if?  What if it DOES go well?  He’s happy being back with his ex-girlfriend and he’s sure it’s better than being lonely.  Honestly, I’m not all that lonely.  I’ve gotten used to being on my own and I’m OK.  I’d like to share my life with someone but I’m also fine being on my own.

Well, The Hunky Mechanic asked if we could talk tonight.  He called and we chatted… and caught up about friends and work.  It was slightly odd as I thought he wanted to like talk about getting back together and then it was just idle chit chat.  Well, he’s not a natural communicator so I may have to take the lead and ask some meaningful questions here.  He also said that he doesn’t want to push me…  He really never has pushed me, which is good since I react like a rebellious child to that sort of behavior.  He thought maybe we could talk tomorrow too.  I said sure. 

I’m still not sure how I feel about this whole thing.  I’ve recently met a couple people online that I’ve been messaging with and it’s going well…  but they are both three and four hours away and who knows if there will be any attraction at all when we meet in person.   I meet look at what happened with Mr. Toxic Tattoo.

I also keep thinking that we had said the “L” word when we were together.  He seemed so happy and confessed that he hadn’t used that word in seven years.  Wow, that’s big…. but for the life of me, I don’t know why.  What made me so different than the other women he dated?  We never had a moment where he said “you’re so caring and accepting and you make me feel alive” or whatever.  If he was in love with me, I’m afraid I still don’t know why.  I often felt like he had this hole in his life and I just fit into it.  I remember telling that to a girlfriend of mine who said “Why is that so bad?  That’s how relationships work.”  Still, I felt like a faceless woman, as though, as long as I was a round peg that fit into the round hole… I could have been anyone.

However, I’m game to give it another try, if the question should come up.  I keep thinking that this relationship could be all both of us have ever wanted, if I could just get him talking.  If I could get him to let me love him.  If he could really show me who he is so I could give him acceptance and appreciation for just being himself…  and I have to do the same.  I must admit, I didn’t do that last time.  Yet, in that will I find the passionate chemistry I feel is so crucial?   I’m still unsure, but Captain Amazing convinced me with his optimism.  So we will see what tomorrow brings.  🙂

Advertisements
Published in: on March 26, 2011 at 7:26 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , ,

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://search4asoulmate.wordpress.com/2011/03/26/the-hunky-mechanic/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: