The Aftermath of the Double Non-date

I am dealing with the aftermath of “the double non-date” (see previous hub). I guess I am learning as I go here.

Readers, I must warn you, it may NOT be a good idea to spend time with your ex, even if he says it’s fine, or he’s fine. Maybe not a good idea even if you feel like you can tell him all about another dude you like or anything. You may feel like he’s just a regular friend, but he’s NOT. Maybe that feeling, that shred of hope, will never go away.

At Least, that’s what I seem to be experiencing. My friend/ ex-boyfriend from the Double Non-Date from last night is having a complete nuclear meltdown because he wanted to hang out and drink tomorrow night and crash at my place again and I said “no”.

I just said I’m uncomfortable with it and it feels like a gray area and I prefer things feel clean. We know where the boundaries are, but last night I apparently blurred the lines because he has sent like 25 text messages and left like 4 voicemails telling me I’m like a cat and he’s the play toy.  Telling me “you f@&king hurt me” (all I did was say I didn’t want to hang out tomorrow) and that I treat him badly and any number of guilt trip ridden phrases. Even his “apology” was rife with attempts at sending me down the “feeling sorry for him/ change my mind” path.

It didn’t work. I didn’t change my mind. I said it’s not ok to just have a tantrum everytime you don’t get what you want. It’s not ok to be mean and strike out at me trying to say things that will sting because he feels upset. I told him I was angry and still he went on and on. I told him I feel angry and I need time to calm down. He keeps talking. Finally I say, I still want to hang up and he goes “whatever” click. He “whatever”ed me, after he was the one being a giant jerk!

So, true, no one does that… goes out on a “Non-Date” with their ex, and I’m sure this is why!!

Published in: on February 25, 2011 at 1:24 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I can speak from experience about the ex thing. From being the ex. I am ashamed to say that I did the same embarassing things. Shameful. I feel bad for this guy, because after just being broken up, everything is heightened. Everything they say to you, everything they do, everything seems to be much more than it actually is.
    Thankfully, time heals it.

    • I think that’s a very good point that all the emotions you feel in response to them are more intense… Thanks for your comment

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