Only The Intruiging Need Apply… rules for dating

I was really feeling bummed about the dating scene, what with the two most recent experiences with Mr. Cool and Captain Amazing…  and then I realized…   What am I doing?   I am replying to messages from people that I don’t really find attractive or want to date.

So, I made some new rules for myself.  If I am not attracted, and don’t find him fascinating, then I am not going to waste my time.

I did some searches on my internet dating sites and found some interesting men.  I messaged them and before you know it, my in box is full. 

I don’t know why women get “out there” and get on dating sites and then decide they have to NOT be out-going in that situation.  It happens to me too.  What on Earth says we have to just accept whatever crumbs are thrown our way??  Is it the “He’s Just Not That Into You” theory?  Because these sites have possibly millions of people on them, and maybe he just hasn’t seen you yet.

SO, I have decided I will not accept the crumbs AND I am not going to waste my time.  Unless he has my interest peaked, I will stay at home with my dogs.  period.  end of story.

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Published in: on February 22, 2011 at 7:50 am  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Whoohoo! You go girl!
    Great philosophy.

  2. I definitely agree with being a go getter, but online dating only gives us one opportunity for a potential suitor to pique our interest. Of course, your use of “peaked” instead of “piqued” would have possibly deterred a guy like me. One read through usually kills it for us. One slip up sends us packing. If this were the real world, we would have allowed a conversation to determine the ultimate outcome.

    There are several people in online dating who have skewed perceptions of their own self importance. Lots of people are in online dating because they need work. I fully confess my faults regularly and am aware of what I might be capable of attaining and what women are out of my league, interesting or not.

    Even a crumb, when examined closely, has a certain uniqueness to it. Online dating has inadvertently trained us to become dismissive. It is inherent to the design. If we could come up with an alternative form of interaction, I think our overall experience would improve. As it stands, the message model is stagnant and makes our time at these sites painful.

    Regional demand tells me I am a crumb. Put me in DC or New York and I think go getters would be messaging me. I seem to only attract the desperate souls now after having exhausted all other local options. Yes, even I am casting aside my own idea of what constitutes a crumb. I am bending over backwards on my personal beliefs in order to expand my options, but those attempts typically result in silence.

    So hopefully you have options. The day go getters become amenable to the idea of long distance relationships, meaning a two hour drive or more, I’ll be back in business. Until then, I will remain a shiny crumb who receives messages from dull crumbs.

    • Funny, you pointing out a tiny, ridiculous, unimportant detail like my using “peaked” instead of “piqued” would have deterred a girl like me.


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