Enter Captain Amazing Adventurer

I have a friend who is an Amazing Adventurer. He’s got crazy smarts. He’s been all over the world. He’s well read and can go from talking about Tolstoy to telling dirty jokes in the blink of an eye. He’s over six foot tall, handsome and energetic, athletic and in shape.

I have been talking and texting with Captain Amazing for about a month now. We have the most fantastic banter over the phone! He’s also got the most incredible stories, and I am always riveted!

Like the time I was complaining about a bad date, and he said he was on a date with a girl that didn’t speak english, only Russian! So, as I asked how he ended up on a date with this russian babe, I found out, he speaks russian. “What?” I replied “I’m going to start calling you Secret Agent Man!”

He makes a very good living. He writes, plays, and sings music. He doesn’t do drugs or drink too much, and he owns a piece of ocean front property in the Bahamas. (He was flipping photo on his phone and casually said, “that’s my place in the bahamas.” I laughed and he said “no seriously, that’s my place in the bahamas. The only reply I could muster was “What? Shut up!”) Still, with all that Amazing stuff Captain Adventurer is just a guy. He’s a guy who loves his kid, and lives in a modest apartment with a roommate. He drives a ford, and doesn’t like to be alone. He’s a regular guy who laughs at my jokes, and flirts unabashedly.

Knowing all of this, I go to the city to meet him for our first date. I had my sites set on an arcade to have some fun with no kids in tow, but that was closed and we ended up at a bowling alley. He’s, of course, a fantastic athlete and beats the pants off me during the game. I also notice he’s looking at me for long periods of time. He’s almost staring, and smiling a lot. That’s a good sign right?

We move to a bar with the intention of playing pool, but they close down before we have a chance to get on the table. I am wide awake and not ready to end the night, so he invites me back to his place. At this point, he sits on the couch obviously exhausted. We have a sort of uncomfortable short chat, and I get up to be on my way.

He gives me a long hug at the door but makes no move to try and kiss me. I walk to my car thinking that did not go well. It was sad really because we had such chemistry on the phone. The next day I’m on the phone with my Mom, telling her that there just wasn’t any fireworks, when he rings through.

Sure enough, he’s called to let me down easy. His remarks were fairly gentle and heartfelt and I confessed that from the first time we talked I wondered if this was really a romantic thing with us. He made a huge effort to let me know that he liked me very much and hoped we could be friends, and this was not just that line… We had talked before the date, and I said “whatever happens, let’s stay friends, ok? I love this banter we have and I’m having so much fun with you.”

So, it was done. We would be friends.

However, the fantastic banter continued. He even got excited just talking to me on the phone. We talked about how we were both so surprised at the complete lack of fireworks, and he said for him, he feels it in the first five seconds when it’s there.

He brought up the idea of sort of friends with benefits, or atleast one night of carnal bliss with no limits, no boundaries. I declined, saying it might ruin the friendship.  Although…

Later we talked and he said he was thinking “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you get what you need.” Cheesy Rolling Stones lyrics but it spoke to me. I certainly believe that God or the Universe or whatever you believe in brings people into your life that you NEED not necessarily what you want.

After two hours of talking we said good night.

I saw him again the other day as I had insisted on helping him move. It was a good thing too, because with all the girls he’s dated and all the incredible friends he has, NO ONE had offered to help him move. So, there he was alone.

It was a pretty good night. I got to see some of his quirks and he got to relieve some steam from the pressure cooker in his head. I told him honestly what I thought about whatever dating situations he brought up and I felt so grateful to be let into his world. He was so much better than I thought. Unperfect, like me, emotional and vulnerable and overall wonderful.

Once again we discussed the complete lack of “fireworks”. “What the hell is wrong with me?” I thought. This guy is the be all, end all dating jackpot, and no fireworks?

I feel as if we are riding this crazy dating roller coaster side by side, no judgements, only open hearts. I also do not feel like I am in the same category of the girls he’s dating. Since we are being “friends” I get to hear about all of them, and what he’s looking for and how he’s feeling with no barriers or fear of ruining a possible “relationship”. It’s pretty terrific.

The last thing he said that night was, “Let’s try to spark it up.” Which was great to hear, but how do you do that? I like being on the inside, and not lumped in with those other girls. SO, I figure we keep being friends. We’re doing a day trip this weekend and we’ll see if that doesn’t spark something.

In all I have read it says intimacy is something that is built over time through shared experiences, so maybe???

Published in: on February 11, 2011 at 5:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
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